Meghan McCain's Huge Whaaaa Problem

I don't know what made me think of her. I was just trawling around, and happened upon Ace of Spades Headquarters, and Iowahawk and Jim Treacher and IMAO and all the good, funny, Tea Party/Conservative spots, and I guess I was just reminded of that whiny little blond girl who had so damn much to say that no one ever wanted to hear during the presidential election. Well, she's still saying it and she's still furious that no one wants to hear it, and she can't believe that no one wants to hear it. It's not a trainwreck, it's more like a little pink Hello Kitty round-cornered baby choo-choo wreck. With bubbles. She honestly doesn't get it. Why does she think she gets all these TV spots or anyone published her books? Because she's so interesting? Of course not, it's because she knows Sarah Palin and they're hoping for some dirt from someone who is openly jealous of her. (No, really, she is openly jealous; she doesn't even try to pretend anything else.) When you literally have to tell a TV interviewer that your book is interesting for all sorts of other reasons than Sarah Palin and he should be interested in those other things so please ask about them NOW, you're really a bubblehead.

Let's link up a couple of her recent articles - one is actually called The Palin Girls Don't Share wherein we are supposed to feel righteous indignation at Meghan being forced to do her own hair and makeup one morning when the Palins were hogging all the makeup artists. She actually likens this to taking the Red Pill in the Matrix, as though her reality is more interesting than the Matrix. (In most cases I'd agree, but in her case, the bubbleheadedness is so strong that I just can't - Mary Poppins is meatier than the stuff this girl writes.) She had never seen anything like the instant phenomenon of Palin, even in all her travels with...John McCain. Well, honey, I hate to break it to you but I wouldn't expect to see something like that traveling with John McCain, whose only contribution in 2000 was to scream "Campaign Finance Reform", which no one - absolutely no one in the whole damn world - could work up the vaguest enthusiasm for except him. The words alone are enough to put me to sleep, something that usually requires a double dose of Ambien. I'm glad to see you don't blame your father, though - since the only good thing he did was introduce Palin to the world before dying a rightful and quiet political death, and got the whole Tea Party movement going and all that good stuff - stuff I know you don't understand with your leftist "big-tent Republican" ideas. I mean Palin was even then the anti-McCain, even when she was using his talking points and supporting his stupid ideas; you knew it wasn't what she was really about. If she hadn't been, it wouldn't have been a race at all, but a vulgar humiliation for your dad, who would have gone down in flames far worse than he did.

"I found myself fighting to convince people interviewing me that my book was about things other than Palin and interesting for many reasons." Hehe. Yes, we know.

But then she gets naughty and here I have to correct her and take issue with her poor little baby heart - she then goes on to say that ALL the Tea Party/Conservative women are just knockoffs of Palin and that's plain horseshit. Michelle Bachmann is no clone; she's a bulldozer all on her own. And get serious; how long has Ann Coulter been around? She was working in the Supreme Court before Palin was on the PTA. What kind of disservice are you doing to women like Michelle Malkin to say she's nothing but a Palin knock-off? Honey, it's not the national obsession that's showing, it's YOUR obsession that's the problem here. So go ahead and write your petty little jealous screeds all you like, but next time don't make the mistake of thinking Palin came first and the rest followed like ducks in a row - she made a tremendous contribution and your father did one thing right in his life by giving her a stage to do it from, but the rest of 'em weren't spawned from her; this is individualism, honey - now go put on some makeup and fix your hair and look pretty for the cameras. And don't forget to dish up all the dirt on Palin you can in your next TV interview; it's the only thing that makes you remotely interesting.

Meghan's Palin ProblemBy the way I think comments are finally available again; I don't know where the wires got crossed but please comment if you're still here!