I stole these because they were funny. You didn't think I could be this funny on my own, did you?
The bartender says to the tachyon, "We don't serve your kind in here!" The tachyon leaves. A tachyon walks into a bar.
Some helium floats into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." The helium doesn't react.
A Neutron saunters up to the bar and orders a drink. "How much?" he asks. Bartender says, "For you, no charge.
A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The superconductor leaves without any resistance.
Man, entropy ain't what it used to be.
A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here." The neutrino says, "I'm just passing through."
A Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says, "Your kind isn't welcome here." The boson replies, "But without me, how can you have mass?"
An atom walks into a bar, orders a beer, takes one sip and breaks down in tears. The bartender comes over and says, "Hey pal, whatsa matter?" Atom says, "I think I just lost an electron!" Bartender says, "Are you sure?" Atom says, "Yeah, I'm POSITIVE!"
A Redditor searches for jokes about superstrings, but only finds a bunch of long threads.