June 13, 2011

Toys for Moonbats

As the copy says,

Viva la RevoluciĆ³n! So maybe you can't take up arms and join the resistance right now. In the meantime, keeping these guys handy will remind you of your revolutionary roots and let everyone else know that you don't roll with The Man.

As a commenter said, does it come with its own concentration camp playhouse or what?

June 9, 2011

And One Coulter to Rule Them - Continued

Naturally Keith Olbermann or Michael Moore would NEVER get such intros or questions; but neither can they handle criticism - Ann doesn't give a shit. It's a badge of honor for the left to not understand her humor or her point. This "reporter"? That's what happens to people whose first memory is their mother holding them underwater.

On a sad note, I had the rare PERFECT opportunity, a clear set-up, to say "There is no spoon" and MISSED IT! I suck at internet! Dammit.

And since Ann had SUCH a busy week, let's see her PWN Joy Bitch-har! Sweet!

June 8, 2011

Those Were the Days - Random Nostalgia

...When people knew veganism was extreme. When even vegetarianism was a kook fringe.

The BEST Thing You'll Read All Week!

Or month!

Ann Coulter has apparently temporarily relinquished her title to "Most Dangerous Psychopath in the World" and become more popular with the media, who even go so far as to call her SMART! (We've been hearing what an idiot she is for over a decade, but now she's smart, people! Ask the press!)

But Ann doesn't suck up to her hypocritical friends (I'm no longer thinking of it as hypocrisy but as abject dread and terror) - she keeps sticking it to them and sticking it to them. Which is good practice for when they start lobbing bombs (and pies) at her again.

HERE'S the interview:

PIERS MORGAN, HOST: Where is the similar mob to Mussolini’s and Hitler’s in the modern democratic era?

ANN COULTER: Well, I would say that there are a lot of similarities. The French Revolution.

MORGAN: Tea Party?

COULTER: No. No, no, no.

MORGAN: Nearest thing to it?

COULTER: No, they're much closer to the original Tea Party, which, and actually not as, not as much of a rabble as the original Tea Party, which as I point out, the Founding Fathers weren't wild about the original Tea Party curiously enough because they were so against mobs.

MORGAN: Are you wild about them?

COULTER: About who?

MORGAN: The Tea Party.


COULTER: Oh yeah, I love them.

MORGAN: See I don’t really get that. COULTER: I speak to them.

MORGAN: I don’t get that because you’re a smart cookie.

COULTER: So are the Tea Partiers!

MORGAN: What do people think about you? You're intelligent. You live a provocative life.

COULTER: I believe you're insulting the Tea Partiers.

MORGAN: Well, they're not among the brightest of spellers (?), are they?

COULTER: They're smarter than any liberal.

MORGAN: Do you think so?


MORGAN: You really think that?

COULTER: Yes, I do.

MORGAN: In your heart?

COULTER: I meet them and speak to them and they get my jokes which already makes them smarter than the average liberal.

MORGAN: Is that why you think they’re so smart?

COULTER: It makes them smarter than the average liberal. I'm always having to explain, map out how the joke works here.

MORGAN: The way you talk as your publisher does here, “Liberals use mobs to seize power and impose their theories on the populace for the good of humanity.” I think Sarah Palin would have written that, who whether you like it or not is irrelevant, is a brilliant rouser of the populous, like nothing else in politics right now. After Obama himself and his last election, she is doing an incredible job marshaling her base. But she also comes out with some pretty inflammatory stuff and that surely arouses a mob mentality. You wouldn't dispute that.

Oh, wouldn't she???

COULTER: I don't think she's inflammatory. I think she's a great speaker. What do you think she said that is inflammatory? MORGAN: Putting crosshairs on people's heads.

COULTER: Oh, come on. I talk about that in the book, too.

MORGAN: Is that inflammatory?

COULTER: That was invented by Democratic strategist Bob Beckel as he admitted on TV.

MORGAN: And once again, you go back to the Democrats. I'm asking you about Sarah Palin.

COULTER: I go back - where is the camera? I'm going back to the book because I talk about -- let me answer this one. It is a beautiful example of something in the question.

MORGAN: Your default process throughout this so far is fascinating. Every single time I ask you a question, rather than answer about Sarah Palin and crosshairs, you instinctively go, “What about Democrats?"

COULTER: Piers, darling, if I were selling you a book, if I were talking about a book that I had just written about dogs, and you ask me, “What comforts old people,” I would say, “Why, Piers, dogs do. In fact, I talk about it in my book.” My book is called "How the Liberal Mob is Endangering America," and I talk about the crosshairs issue, and if I could answer the question on the crosshairs issue.

MORGAN: You may.

COULTER: It is a perfect example of totally contradictory thinking by the Left in America, an example of the mob where they go around hysterical at Sarah Palin putting these crosshairs on Congressional districts. It was done by the Democratic National Committee. It was invented by a liberal. It’s a classic thing in politics. And it wasn’t on her face. It was a district. These are the ones…

MORGAN: Was it a sensible thing to do (?)?

COULTER: Yes, it is fine for both the Democrats and the Republicans to do it.

MORGAN: Would you encourage them to carry on doing it?

COULTER: Yes. That isn't what caused Jared [Loughner] to shoot up a shopping mall.

MORGAN: How do you know? How do you know? COULTER: Because we know that he’s out of his mind. MORGAN: Mentally unstable guy. As it turns out, it didn't have any connection, it would appear.

COULTER: As it turns out, he was a liberal.

MORGAN: How would you have felt if actually he was mentally unstable, he had seen the website, he misunderstood the instruction from the crosshair, and he went and did the same thing? Then what would you think?


MORGAN: Would you care?

COULTER: …what if I walk out of this studio tonight, and someone who has seen you accusing me of being mean to liberals is so ginned up, he shoots me? Would you not ask any of the questions you're asking?

Well, that's how you answer a stupid "what if" question. Presented without further comment, because I don't need to point out the obvious to YOU. However, I'd be interested in hearing how hard you laughed or how happy it made you feel - made my whole day, and not many people can do that. Thanks, Ann. Thanks, sincerely.

June 6, 2011

New Nazis - TRUE New Nazis



Holy HELL! I'm literally dumbfounded, and that never happens. What the HELL are they DOING?!?! You know, had this been a legitimate movement to ban circumcision in San Francisco because it is a misguided medical procedure done on people too young to know better, WITH a religious exemption for Jews and others whose religion decrees it, and WITH medical exemptions when it actually is called for, that would be one thing. But THIS ISN'T THAT. They kept saying over and over again that they weren't anti-Semitic, that this wasn't ABOUT Judaism but was rather about saving innocent children, blahdeblah-shit. Then why is the pamphlet and the collector card straight-up Nazi propaganda? And I don't mean figuratively, I mean LITERALLY. Evil monster Jews fighting off good Nordic blond-haired saviors. Seriously. I...do they not understand that "never again" MEANS "NEVER AGAIN"?? I'm going to show you this stuff as well as linking it because I can't BELIEVE this is going on. FYI the artist's name is HESS.


Can you spot the ORIGINAL Nazi propaganda? I admit it's hardly distinguishable (actually, it isn't at all) - but it's the last two. My reaction was OH MY GO...WHAT THE FU...HOLY SHIT! Talk about monsters.

The Daily Planet

Just let that sink in a minute. When you're done banging your head on your desk, here's some news.


Palin was again RIGHT. See, I remember when they mocked her for the misunderestimate/refudiate bullshit, and the thing is, they're pretty good words. Hell, the dictionary people agreed refudiate carried a unique meaning and actually made sense. But when mocked by the media, Palin pointed to Shakespeare, and noted that Shakespeare made up words all the time. They howled in laughter and derision. Except what the HELL were they laughing about? See, anyone who knows anything DOES know that Shakespeare made words up ALL THE TIME; hell, half the shit he wrote he MADE UP. He invented the language as he went. Go to one of the Shakespearean Insulter Generators, and tell me you actually believe all those hyphenated words were really just obscure English and we just don't know it now. If you believe that, I have a bridge to sell you. In fact, Shakespeare made shit up. So what were they laughing at? I don't know, but I hope it echoed back to them; stupid dipshits.

In this case, the newest alleged insanity, Palin said that Paul Revere was in part warning the British that we were here, that we were armed, and that they were in trouble. The media howled again. (You know, they really should stop howling.) Well I thought maybe she misspoke, and I have a lot of faith in her intelligence and her being to handle on-the-spot impromptu speaking from a place of being extremely well-read and intelligent. Well, she DEFENDED her remark, and if I had known that I would have realized she probably knew what the hell she was talking about. As a matter of fact, it turns out she ABSOLUTELY DID.

Boston University history professor Brendan McConville said, “Basically when Paul Revere was stopped by the British, he did say to them, ‘Look, there is a mobilization going on that you’ll be confronting,’ and the British are aware as they’re marching down the countryside, they hear church bells ringing — she was right about that — and warning shots being fired. That’s accurate.”
“I would call her lucky in her comments,” McConville said.
Yes, I'm sure you would, arrogant prick. Except considering that she stuck to her guns and DEFENDED her remark, there was nothing lucky about it - had it been a slip of the tongue, she could just have said, "Naturally I meant warn the colonists - I was rushed." It wouldn't have been any worse than the "57 states" remark. But she didn't; she stuck to it- if she hadn't known it was true, that would have been a very dumb thing to do. But she's NOT dumb and she KNEW what she was saying, and she IS VINDICATED yet again. So, Mr. McCONville, what's that about the alleged idiot "getting lucky" exactly? You FOOL. Let me tell you, these kind of things - it's GOOD the media blares them left and right, because it only demonstrates to us on the ground that this woman is *truly* educated, is *genuinely* intelligent, and will live to laugh in the faces of her critics yet again. Party like it's 1773, Gwen Ifill and MarKOS!

In other news, HOLY SHIT. Economic Fools Again Are these people mentally ill or what?? What "economists" are these morons listening to?? Oh. Krugman. Not that he's an economist. But holy hell, it's UNREAL what they're saying. Let's shred it.

Is this kind of a wake-up call, do you think, to shift the political debate from what's been all about debt reduction and shift it back to job creation? I mean, is this an opportunity, for instance, to try to talk about creating jobs, and adding, maybe, another stimulus?
YES, you idiots, more of what got us INTO this mess is the answer. It'll...create jobs. Or something. (You know, these people don't seem to know what job creation means.)

"We really need a new stimulus" said Krugman.
Yes, and you fools will listen to KRUGMAN, a leftist POLITICAL COMMENTATOR and believe he has a fucking clue what he's talking about. HE'S NOT AN ECONOMIST, PEOPLE! Dr. William Anderson explains it in plain English Krugman The Keynesian. Uh, yeah. Fucking Krugman. But the idiocy continues and it's enough to make you pull your hair out!

JOHN BERMAN: But now it [the economy] may have to mend on its own (Note: IF ONLY THEY'D LET IT DO SO!!!), because, practically speaking, there isn't much left the President can do. With the political wars over the debt, there is no chance for another stimulus, no more bank bailouts, there are no federal jobs to offer. And with interest rates at or near zero, the Fed can't do anything to lower them. The President might just have to watch and hope that the American road to recovery, is merely a bumpy road and not a road to nowhere.

Oh FFS!! How many times can we break this down? First of all, the GOVERNMENT DOESN'T AND CAN'T CREATE JOBS. How could they? All they can do is GET OUT OF THE WAY so the REST of us can engage in industry and commerce. But it's worse than that - this fool actually seems to believe (I have my doubts as to whether he REALLY believes it, it's so stupid) - that OFFERING FEDERAL JOBS ALLEVIATES UNEMPLOYMENT. WTF???!!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Just think about that logically for a minute, before I shred it on another level. Let's think - WHO PAYS FOR FEDERAL EMPLOYMENT? Ding! Ding! Ding! I heard you thinking "The taxpayers." Correct. WE pay for it. And if WE'RE THE ONES IN TROUBLE and WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING BECAUSE WE HAVE NO WORK, WHO THE HELL IS SUPPOSED TO PAY TENS OF MILLIONS OF NEW FEDERAL EMPLOYEES?? **Crickets.**

But let's think of it at another level for a moment. You've got 9.1 percent unemployment, and that is only counting the people who qualify for benefits. So you've got some 37 million people right off the bat. But with so many people having had their benefits already end, the REAL rate is estimated at more approaching 20%. So NOW you're talking about 75 million people out of work and hurting. They are scattered to the four winds, all over the country, and they have endless varying levels of education and capability. So what kind of program, using non-existent money, does this dipshit think can be created to employ nearly a hundred MILLION people all over the country with all sorts of varying levels of capability and education at a federal level? Have they done some sort of study to assess the capabilities of the unemployed and to map their locations so that there would be a dozen or so employment centers in every state that take into account these people's needs and skills, and then employ them in some sort of make-busy federal work? The screening alone would take a year, opening these employment centers would...well it would never happen. You could pour a trillion non-existent dollars into that, and it would STILL never work - of course, you could temporarily employ the unemployed to BUILD the buildings (if, that is, you had union builders on unemployment who were available for the job - I mean, and of course you have to get permits and contracts and all the endless red tape of BUILDING things anymore) and they'd never be finished because there isn't enough money in the world. We'd have hundreds of half-finished or never-started buildings all over the country. Of course, it would be a sweet deal for Uncle Sam, as he'd own all that extra land when the dust died down, right? Why not? You might be able to fool the people into buying this, and Bernanke can do some "quantitative easing" (i.e. print fake money; inflation) to pretend the money is there, and you could trump the project from the rooftops and garner reelection, right? Are the American people still this stupid?

They listen to Krugman, don't they?

June 5, 2011

"Stuff White People Do"?

Wow. These people sure can TALK SOME SHIT. How horrible the sky must look in their worlds. Talking shit.http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

June 2, 2011

I Told You So.

Remember Princess boy in his tutu with the exploitative mom? Or the pink nailpolish boy whose mom used him for an ad spread? WELL NEXT TIME DON'T BE SO QUICK TO FUCKING DOUBT ME - I told you the left had an AGENDA with that shit, and with pooh-poohing people like me who pointed it out. Observe.

http://www.mrctv.org/videos/transgender-education-goes-elementary (that's a video; if the link doesn't work, cut and paste it into your browser address bar.) And watch it. Continue to observe.

You read the whole thing because these people are SERIOUSLY fucked up and so are their older sons. Presented without further comment, except NOW tell me it's all in my fucking head.

There's one more - I don't have a problem with the transsexual or the gay guy, but how is it that after having to fight the whole school to even get on the ballot, suddenly these two win the whole damned thing? Yeah, not TOO transparent. Considering the rest of it, it's pretty damned obvious.

June 1, 2011

Out of Commission...

Been struck down with a nasty stomach virus, so haven't been writing. Mostly in bed reading and contemplating the complexities of Dadaism and Marjoe Gortner. Hopefull back soon!

May 25, 2011

Hat Tip to Clammy

Obama makes royal gaffes. A national embarrassment.

"While such matters of etiquette may be somewhat unfamiliar to Americans, one would think the President of the United States would have staff on hand to advise him of such things. Or maybe a special teleprompter."

Link here.

Now it brings to mind the time Bush made a so-called gaffe when the queen visited here, but in fact he was chiding her on her age, and the fact was if you watched it it was VERY clear that the queen thought it was funny, and it wasn't a gaffe at all but very much on purpose. She would have had to be in on it, and the lady does very much have a sense of humor. Plus she LIKED the Bushes and Reagans and was friends with them. These trashy people, not so much. It's pretty clear she won't be visiting us anytime soon, so long as such bozos are in charge. Now why he practically hit the floor for the Saudi king when he bowed (which, no, Americans are not supposed to do) and embarrassed the leader of China doing the same still isn't clear. But this guy is a gaffe-machine like his vice president is...oddly, I doubt the left will be screaming about this one (hell, it didn't bother them that he insulted England by returning the Churchhill bust and handing the queen an iPod with his speeches on it...or gave the other guy a set of WalMart DVDs he couldn't watch in Europe) even though they were in high dudgeon when Bush supposedly insulted the queen, which he DIDN'T DO. This guy's a real chump. And extremely arrogant besides.


I wanna put up new posts and I HAVE new posts but the fucking thing ain't working - I restored my whole computer and need help. But obviously that ain't all there is. FIX IT. THERE'S NO SOUND!!!!

May 21, 2011

THIS is Why Nukes Were Better

Bin Laden's son- well, one of them - is now suing the US, claiming that Osama's death at sea humiliated the family. Which can only mean it's time to hunt him down and kill him too. I'm thinking another burial at sea.

Your moment of zen - while insisting they believe in freedom of speech, students sign a petition to ban Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck from speaking.

GAH! It's cut off; watch it HERE

May 19, 2011

Justice is SERVED!

To the shitheads at Westboro "Baptist" "Church" protestors, who showed up to protest another hero's death. The whole county joined together quietly to refuse these assholes to show up and defile their homegrown hero in Brandon, Mississippi. I think they're all heroes.

A couple of days before, one of them (Westboro protestors) ran his mouth at a Brandon gas station and got his arse waxed. Police were called and the beaten man could not give much of a description of who beat him. When they canvassed the station and spoke to the large crowd that had gathered around, no one seemed to remember anything about what had happened.
Rankin County handled this thing perfectly. There were many things that were put into place that most will never know about and at great expense to the county.
Most of the morons never made it out of their hotel parking lot. It seems that certain Rankin county pickup trucks were parked directly behind any car that had Kansas plates in the hotel parking lot and the drivers mysteriously disappeared until after the funeral was over. Police were called but their wrecker service was running behind and it was going to be a few hours before they could tow the trucks so the Kansas plated cars could get out.
A few made it to the funeral but were ushered away to be questioned about a crime they might have possibly been involved in. Turns out, after a few hours of questioning, that they were not involved and they were allowed to go on about their business.

So, what, "God" wasn't on your side this time Phelps? Boo-fucking-hoo. You're gonna die in your sins, old man. Best watch out and repent.

May 14, 2011

Real Patient-Dumping

This is heartbreaking. I'm damn lucky this isn't how we operate in the US or I might be dead right now twice over at the least. Including just yesterday ffs! (Not that they didn't try, mind you - they love to discharge people without really finding out what's wrong; only here you can have something to say about it, and if you're lucky, others, like paramedics, will take up for you.)

Via FaithFreedom.org: The newspaper Asr-e Iran reported that passersby spotted two patients in a field outside of Tehran. The two patients were hospitalized in the state funded Khomeini Hospital. Despite being public and allegedly free, they were loaded in an ambulance and dropped in a field for not having the money to pay the bills.

Isn't that just lovely? Stay tuned for Michael Moore's documentary about the superiority of Iran's health care system to ours. After all, it's free.

Audacity and a Birth Certificate

Usurper-in-chief's plan for growing the economy? Convince businesses to just hire people, whether they need them or not. After all, they need to step up as good Americans! (Screw the foreigners, unless they're Mexican.) No worry, they'll print you money to pay the workers, if they have to.

"When the economy started growing again, worldwide demand for oil went back up," he said

Um, WHEN was that? In imaginary-unicorn-world, where the "economy" started growing again? And why would oil demand be a good thing to Obama, who promised to bankrupt the oil and coal industries and to make energy prices skyrocket? I think I smell a rat.

In NYSlimes "News" Obama released his long-form birth certificate. Supposedly. Then, and really this was brilliant on his part (if anything he does can be called brilliant) he joked at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner that, "I happen to know my ratings are still high in the country of my birth." Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip! Rewind! Now I found this out while searching for the term; and why was I searching for the term? Because he already said EXACTLY that in a serious speech - I watched the video months ago - so I knew what to look for. Seems to me he would like there to be two exact same quotes out there so that anytime someone brings that up to him he can say "Sure I said it - just last week/month at the WH CA Dinner! It was a joke, duh." That...that's thinking like a REAL Chicago politician - it's just slimy enough. Covering one quote with another - I bet he was careful to use the same tone of voice, too. Wonder if he covered one birth certificate with another? Heh. Not that it matters; when your father is a foreign citizen, you do not qualify for "natural-born citizenship" status anyway. More people should have been focusing on THAT and stop worrying about WHERE he was born; we should always assume an ace up the sleeve, and please - from a guy who prints money in the basement, what would you expect? That he COULDN'T produce a document saying X, Y or Z? I figure assume he WAS born in Hawaii and focus on the fact that a parent being a foreign subject automatically disqualifies one from natural-born citizen, no matter where you crowned your head. The document is never going to satisfy hardcore doubters, who will find things wrong with it, and the argument about parentage is easily provable on both sides. Went after the wrong thing, birthers. (Not that I blame you; it seems like a good shortcut.) At the very least we know he perjured himself before the Illinois bar (he swore he'd never gone under any other name - hello, Soetero) and that he's used multiple SS#s which means SS fraud...with all those plums just out of reach why pick the one that he COULD fake?

Of course, that means one thing - both he and Michelle LIED previously when claiming http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifhe was born in Kenya (yeah, they did.) I said, if he isn't lying now, he was lying then...obviously he was. But...his lips were moving.

Reince Pribus of the RNC sez:

“The president ought to spend his time getting serious about repairing our economy, working with Republicans and focusing on the long-term sustainability of Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security. Unfortunately his campaign politics and talk about birth certificates is distracting him from our No. 1 priority — our economy."
and Palin sez:
Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska and a potential 2012 rival, said in a Twitter message that the news media should not “let the WH distract you w/the birth crt” from stories like the public comments of Ben Bernanke, the chairman of the Federal Reserve bank.

Guys, seriously, that's just NOT fair. Boo! Look, people wanted to see it, that's all there is to it. And he's come up with a great cover for his previous comments (Michelle hasn't, that I know of, refuted or repeated in jest her comment about her and Barack being tested for AIDS in Barack's "home country" of Kenya to set an example. Better get on that, guys.)

NY Slimes, ferreal? A marKOS MOULITSAS quote? THAT'S what you've got? Why don't you just quote random bloggers and include some of us, if you're going THERE.

KOS says they're right to "rub it in their (Republicans') face." Keep it classy, MarKOS. You're becoming a real newsboy day by day.

NySlimes also sez:

White House officials said they hoped to at least bring an end to discussion of the topic in the mainstream news.

I'll BET they do.

NYS Also sez:

Mr. Obama’s comments risked elevating the discredited questions about where he was born, but also allowed him to cast his political opponents as focused on the trivial at a time when the nation is facing more important issues.

Discredited? When? Oh...you mean just now? Allegedly? Well, yeah, I can see your point; those birthers ought to have seen into the future and known he was going to release SOMETHING - doesn't change his status but it was fun to chide him on his and Michelle's previous comments that he was born abroad. And yeah some of us? Don't think the constitution is trivial, thanks.

May 12, 2011

Scrabble Controversy...New Words

When I read that they were adding controversial new "Q Without U" words, I knew some would relate to Islam, and naturally I was right ;) Anyway, here's the piece, with my comments.

Scrabble, one of the last bastions of grammatical purism in a world overrun by cell phone text abbreviations, is capitulating to the times.

The board game plans to add 3,000 new words to its official dictionary, including several slang terms like "thang" (9 points) and "grrl" (5 points) as well as pop culture touchstones, like Facebook and MySpace.

Oh FFS, "thang" and "grrl"??? NO! Fuck Scrabble. That's it, I'll never buy a new board or dictionary again. Also, Facebook and MySpace don't even QUALIFY for the game because they have capitals? Hello? WTF? (Why don't they add WTF?)

Turning the most heads is the inclusion of "innit," a condensation of "isn't it" that will earn you 5 points - and the undying hatred of any English majors who are playing along.

Innit? INNIT? Hate. Rage. Loathing. I say it occasionally conversationally, but it is NOT acceptable in a Scrabble game. Well, it is NOW; thanks, assholes.

In addition, two new "Q" words have been added that don't require a "u". "Qin" (a Chinese zither, with strings stretched across a flat box) will earn you 12 points, while "Fiqh" (an expansion of Islamic sharia law) will add 19 to your score. Each will also almost certainly have your opponents rushing to challenge the words.

Told ya'!

The push to make the game more relevant to a generation that's more familiar with "Words with Friends" is a risky one. While updating the dictionary makes it a more hip game, the move is bound to upset some fans, who have always taken pride in the fact that the game was never "dumbed down".

SOME fans? SOME? EVERYONE hates this shit. I don't give a damn what "Words with Friends" players think - some of us have been playing Scrabble for 40 or 50 or 60 YEARS and we've submitted to every bullshit change that came along. This is a step too far. Period.

The game's publishers say the additions make this the "most comprehensive Scrabble wordlist ever produced," but that's doing little to soothe some players' ruffled feathers.

"I don't like slang words at all, but if they are going to put them in we will have to use them," Jean Gallacher, of Scotland's Inverness Scrabble Club, told The Scotsman. "I think there is too much slang in the English language as it is, with the way young people are talking."

Let's face it: it might be fun to earn 12 points by laying down "blingy," but you certainly won't impress the person across that table that has just dropped "Quixotry".

BLINGY? Oh seriously, fuck this game forever.

I bet you thought I was joking about the "controversial" bit, didn't you? I really wasn't, because it's bad enough when they pull this shit, but this...no. Just no. It's a bridge too far and they know it. See, we take that shit seriously. Just think if all of a sudden there was a new poker hand in between 2 pair and 3 of a kind, like 2 pair plus one card lower than the opponent's 3 of a kind? How would you like that if you were a longtime poker player? Or some change to golf scoring that enabled you to take one stroke off your score if you make it to the next tee in 5 minutes? I mean, that's what this is like. It's bogus bullshit. Why don't they change the board? Throw in a few random triple word scores? Or take a dump in the letter bag before they ship it? Jackholes.

Wow - Zappa on Crossfire

Damn; I knew he was smart but I really didn't know he was *this* informed and intelligent. Look how every time they try to trip him up he knows EXACTLY where they're going, WHAT they're referring to, and has the rebuttal already? Like the bit about the alleged "school for the mentally disturbed" and he had all his ammo ready; or even knowing about "Hot for Teacher" when they didn't know what they were referring to. Love when he flips it and starts mocking them. Also I had no idea he was conservative. Hehe; great stuff. This Tom Braden guy is pretty good too.

I LOVE his first answer on this one. I HATE when they start laughing at him without bothering to answer - why SHOULDN'T that be on television? This was what Lenny Bruce was trying to do; to get across the point that if someone SAYS the words, it isn't HURTING anyone and probably does more to help than hinder (along the same lines as not having so many alcohol problems, or at least as many kids dying to use the stuff, in places where it's just no big deal and they get wine with dinner from the beginning.) Hell, that's what Cartman said in the South Park Movie when confronted about his filthy mouth - "WHAT DID YOU SAY?" "So what?" he asks, "It doesn't HURT anybody. Fuck fuckety fuck." But at any rate it's not the government's job by ANY means to control that, and it's not the music industry's responsibility in any sense, and it's not the job of television writers to safeguard some particular version of morality...wow. It's just weird I hooked up to this stuff watching some Bruce videos and then of course you get Carlin (now I find him an odious prick, but I wouldn't presume to censor him via law; I just wouldn't buy it or have it in the house) and then I get all this good stuff that, no matter where you stand on the issue, you have to admit makes you really think.

May 11, 2011

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe

Staying with the theme of reliably excellent movies I thought of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe. Taylor and Burton, together near the very end, when their real life mirrored the dark theme of the movie (booze and a crumbling marriage plus a bit of lunacy), both deliver fabulous performances. Of course Sandy Dennis is also indispensable as is George Segal (who keeps looking around wondering WHAT the hell is going on here! Not that that stops him from boning the professor's wife.)

The entire movie (except the last few minutes in the bar, where there's one tired barkeep) focuses on these 4 people, almost entirely in the slovenly house of the older couple, but most particularly on George and Martha - the tenured professor and daughter of the dean as they welcome a new young couple to the university. She's a pretty nasty bitch who plays head games with her husband (and viciously insults him at every turn), who in turn flips it around on her guests and plays head games with them and with Martha as well. When they finally throw down and admit that it's total war, to the death, you get frightened...it gets worse than what they've already been doing to each other?? What the hell are they going to do now?? Well, it all starts coming out in dribs and drabs as they work through the tissue of lies they've lived on for so many years and rip them apart. Burton is honestly hilarious despite the dark themes and tone of the entire production. Taylor is wonderful as the nasty bitch who spews hatred at her husband in front of everyone they know, and the bizarre part is that they really do love each other. That's the hell of it, even though it is funny. Through it all the booze flows freely and Dennis/Segal (Dennis in particular) are caught in the crossfire. Like I say that still doesn't stop him doing the other wife while his own wife is outside.

When you finally find out their most elaborate fiction, and watch as he ruthlessly rips it away from her (hey, they said total war and she's been delivering same all along), you will have laughed, been disturbed, pondered, and been damn glad you weren't George or Martha. Again, this is a dark story and if you haven't seen it, remember that going in - black humor is sometimes quite satisfying. C.S. Lewis might not agree with me.

Movies of Excellence - Spoilers

Ok, back in 3-D; I'm a fast healer ;)

Look, I'm very glad the independent film industry is doing good - really, I am. I thank Kevin Smith even if he did "Go Hollywood", Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Bill Macy, Welcome to the Dollhouse (which was so authentic Jersey) and even Adrian Brody and Milla Jovovich for Dummy (which is an excellent movie; high on the list.) Also to Trey Parker and Matt Stone who won't sell out, period - they like Brian Boitano and that's it. They HATE the MPAA, who pretty much banned their first movie, until people just demanded that they get their South Park movie (and man, was it funny - I've NEVER had an experience in a theater where every single seat was full and everyone simply LAUGHED for 1 1/2 hours straight - ever. We cheered at Empire, we cheered for Indy Jones, we cheered when Clubber Lang went down, but laughing for the whole movie? That was unique. And kids weren't allowed in, so no one had to worry about that noise heh.)

But let's face it, the indie industry also puts out a lot of garbage and weird crap. It's a gamble. So I saw this movie today called "Thumbsucker" and it was...weird. I wasn't sure what the hell they were trying to say. You've got Vince Vaughn as the teacher and Keanu Reeves as an orthodontist channeling Morpheus, an adorable 18 year old boy who sucks his thumb, the unhappy mom and the demanding and non-accepting dad. Lots of moody Elliott Smith music. The kid goes from thumbsucking to ADHD to Ritalin (and flying way too high) to getting stoned with a girl and playing weird games with her to...well I don't freaking know. Eventually he made it to NYU, threw out his pills, stopped getting high and was running through the streets of NYC. Was it good? I don't know. So I started thinking about all the other possibilities, of movies that are still reliably awesome, and came up with a few names. I've already mentioned Of Mice and Men (1992 version), but there's also O. Henry's Full House (1952), an often overlooked gem, and Captains Courageous (1937.) So we'll start with those.

Captains Courageous stars little Freddie Bartholomew set against Spencer Tracey, a group of other fishermen and Captain Disko played wonderfully by Lionel Barrymore. This movie delivers reliable laughter and tears, and really, joy. Trailer Here

Harvey Chayne is a spoiled rich boy who the other kids can't stand, who makes false accusations against his teachers (such as leaving 50 dollars for a teacher to make a test easy without telling the teacher what the money was for or who it was from - he accuses that one of accepting a bribe.) One of my favorite Freddie's lines was about how they had invited one particular boy to a sleepover as part of a plot - he asks "Well what do you want to go around spoiling plots for?" Well, his father is told when Harvey gets suspended, and what is so refreshing is that instead of protecting his precious snowflake, the father immediately apologized for his son and said he would immediately start spending more time with the boy to try and help him change. When his father takes him on a boat ride, the boy brags that he can drink 5 milkshakes if he wants because it's his dad's boat, gets sick and falls overboard. He is rescued by the remarkably talented Spencer Tracey, playing a Portuguese fisherman on a run out of Gloucester. Naturally, like in Sea Wolf, the rich boy is set aboard a tiny fishing boat with a rough group of men and has to spend the next few months with them. Barrymore heard his story, and said he couldn't wager a year's bread against a boy's yarn, and they would drop him off in Gloucester when they were done fishing. The boy keeps yelling, and another refreshing change - Disko delivers a resounding slap to the kid, knocking him to the ground. In amazement, Harvey says "You hit me!" and Barrymore says drily, "Now you jest set there and think about it." Heh; great stuff you don't see anymore.

Over the course of the trip Manuel (Tracey) takes Harvey under his wing and helps him overcome his rotten temperament and learn how to be a real fisherman. There are pitfalls along the way, such as Harvey tampering with another fisherman's line when he and Manuel have a bet with another fisherman on who would catch the most fish. He had just reeled in an enormous halibut and Manuel simply threw it back in, saying, "I no catch big honest feesh like you with a cheater. Go tell all the other feeshies we got no fisherman here!" When the other man, having hooks pulled from his arms, hears Harvey's apology he attacks the boy - Manuel, failing to smooth it over by saying "See, he apologized like good boy", goes medieval on the guy, saying "You touch that keed I keel you, see? ME, Manuel." It's a truly shiver-worthy moment seeing this sweet-natured well-intentioned man go from smiles and apologies to quiet, menacing rage.

Well probably everyone knows the story, so I'm not spoiling it by telling you he becomes a worthy boy and Manuel dies...when Harvey is finally reunited with his loving dad, he says he wants to be with Manuel, that he's got to. He was going to fish in a dorry with him the rest of his life. Fortunately the father is perfectly sympathetic and they end up a wiser boy and father in the end. It is a truly dramatic comedy - that perfect blend of both, that you don't often find anymore. Cuckoo's Nest did it, I think, but that was much darker than this story, which is moving and uplifting and musical right up to the dramatic death at sea. And it was truly dramatic - he knew he was going down but Harvey didn't - he thought they would save poor Manuel. He did end up with the hurdy-gurdy Manuel's father had left him, which had provided so much comfort aboardship. He even hears about how Jesus was a fisherman too, and that there was fishing in heaven. When Manuel asks him if he didn't have a song in his heart so big he just had to let it out? Don't you never feel like that? I still could cry, but the nice kind of tears. Disko's slap is in the trailer as well as Manuel's threat. The movie might be there too.

If you like bizarre humor (and I do) it's worth watching Chris Elliott's spoof, Cabin Boy.

O. Henry's Full House is a collection of O Henry stories played by a star cast including Anne Baxter. Particularly touching was The Last Leaf, wherein a bum who actively commits petty crime every fall to get himself sheltered in jail for the winter, finally decides to get his act and life together, only to find himself accidentally arrested and sent away again. A perfect O. Henry twist, classic. That one is melancholy and full of pathos. Of course you've got Magi and The Ransom of Red Leaf, which is a comedy. Well worth watching - it's usually shown around Christmas because of Magi and the Last Leaf.

Finally, Of Mice and Men 1992. Now I'm not particularly a Steinbeck fan - I find him to be an angry, bitter writer. (Hmmm...) Like Dickens. And I normally don't like adaptations too much (which is why I just listed three of them ;) ) and if I do, I usually like the original much more than the remake. Case in Point - the Poseidon Adventure. The remake blew; you could not compete with the original cast in that case. But this time I was totally won over by an excellent and tragic movie (you really have to be up for this one; it's very sad) acted by one of the best casts I've seen assembled for such a piece. And the fact is, much as I love Burgess Meredith, he just didn't pull George off right. You've got Gary Sinise (the most underrated actor I've ever seen) as George, guardian to the seemingly lovable, frighteningly strong retarded man Lenny (John Malkovich!) whose previous guardian had died. They are always on the road, looking for the next job as itinerant farmhands. Lenny is excellent at it, being so amazingly strong, but you get a hint right away that he gets into "trouble". In fact the movie begins with a woman running, torn and beat up, through a field and a team with dogs hunting, Lenny hiding waiting for George. Then they get on the road and it gets funny, happier, and pathetic. Lenny makes George tell him the same story every chance he gets - tell it George! "Guys like us," answers George, "are the loneliest guys in the world." "Yeah, but not me and you George, you tell it tell it" and George drawls, "That's right, not us, because we've got each other." He then spins a tale about how they are going to save up their money and go in together on a little farmhouse and Lenny will get to tend the rabbits. But he mustn't let the cats get the rabbits - to which he replies "I'd break that goddamn cat's neck!" They laugh together, they travel, they eat together - Lenny threatens to move to a cave in a particularly hilarious Malkovich moment. When they reach their next job, George makes sure to show Lenny where to hide if he gets "in trouble" again, and George will come for him. In a particularly foretelling moment, George throws away a dead mouse Lenny is petting in his pocket and trying to hide. That mouse ain't fresh, Lenny, I didn't do it out of meanness, as Lenny weeps bitterly. George promises to get him a pup as soon as he can, because they're sturdier and won't die so easy from Lenny's not-so-gentle handling. Bad move, George.

What's really striking is the bond they share - all they have is each other in the world during the Great Depression. On the farm, we find that guys like us really ARE the loneliest people in the world - they each sleep alone even though they're all in a bunkhouse, are mistreated by the boss-man, and we meet the *wonderful* Ray Walston, all broken from years and years doing the most backbreaking work. Walston has a mongrel dog that is also old and broken down - when the men start telling him he needs to shoot the dog, Walston says he can't because he's had him since he was a pup...they keep pushing, and Walston finally agrees to let them go shoot the dog. When he finally hears the shot, he curls up on his bunk and weeps, and so do I. He ominously hints to George that he shouldn't have let them shoot his dog, because it was HIS dog; HE should have shot it himself. George takes the hint.

Walston hears George's story and asked him if it was true about the house; George says it is. Walston asks if he could please throw in with them; that he had $300 to contribute. They were reluctant, but he convinces them and they plan to buy the house at the end of the month. Lenny amazes everyone (and busts the hell out of the boss-man's hand because he hit George, and George turned Lenny loose to take care of him; it's a frightening display of what Lenny CAN be and do without George's restraint) but then he does kill the pup, and inadvertently kills the boss-man's wife, the only woman in the picture. George had warned Lenny by slapping him - the only time you ever see him slap Lenny - and telling him to stay away from her, she was a rat-trap and that's it. But she was very lonely and pushy, and got Lenny alone by the end...and that was the end of her too. He pets women too hard as well, and he snaps her neck. Well, I needn't tell you that when Lenny went to his hiding place and George ran after him as the men followed, searching with their guns, that George remembers the lesson of the dog...he tells Lenny not to turn around, and Lenny says "Tell it to me, George, tell about them rabbits again" as Sinise takes aim with his gun. It was his dog, and he was going to put it down or no one was...and frankly Lenny's dangerous. In the end George is riding the rails alone, no house to look forward to and no companionship. Like I say, it's incredibly sad and you really have to be up for that one, but it's still a must-see if you love fine acting. Teaming Malkovich, Sinise and Walston like they did was just brilliant; I wish Sinise had gotten the Tom Hanks lead in Green Mile; he was much more suited to it. Which is another very sad movie but well worth watching.

So there you have some rainy-day entertainment, depending on what you're in the mood for. Like I say they're all reliably good and moving, all have laughs and tears, and all have excellent performances.