June 19, 2009

The Magic Garden

We already know Obama can make rainbows appear and he's the Lord of the Flies, killing them with a single hand. (Some speculate that the flies are really just one of many plagues that will hit the white house until he lets our money go, but that's just a rumor.) But the Obamas are so magical that they can raise mature vegetables from seed in a mere 60 days, busily eating up their victory garden while the rest of us are just seeing the first flowers on our tomato plants. And all the good little children say, "Yes." Check that out, for real. Gardeners in Baltimore are very suspicious but what is there to say? They must have used unicorn fart and 'hot air blowing up your ass' fertilizer, which we all know works miracles. Plans to enhance the fertilizer next year will include the dead bodies of the former Fox News Channel's anchors.

Alas, while Michelle has a magic garden, she's no Carol or Paula. Vintage blast from the past coming up - one of my favorite childhood shows.


vesta44 said...

Yeah, they didn't get that garden by planting seeds, that's for sure.
Hell, I just got to put my tomato plants out because up until last week, we hadn't had a week-long stretch of nights that were above 50 degrees (and I didn't plant them in the ground, they're in one of those TopsyTurvy hanging plant things). So I don't know if we're even going to have tomatoes this year, depends on how fast they can grow (and I know they aren't going to grow as fast as the garden at the WH did, I'm don't have a green thumb or the money to hire a bunch of gardeners to take care of it for me).

Anniee451 said...

Hey, make sure to let me know how those Topsy Turvy things work out; we have shitty soil for growing, and thing is, we need our fix of Jersey tomatoes (it's been years now since we were able to can any) so if those things work well, I'll definitely invest in them for next year!