We already know Obama can make rainbows appear and he's the Lord of the Flies, killing them with a single hand. (Some speculate that the flies are really just one of many plagues that will hit the white house until he lets our money go, but that's just a rumor.) But the Obamas are so magical that they can raise mature vegetables from seed in a mere 60 days, busily eating up their victory garden while the rest of us are just seeing the first flowers on our tomato plants. And all the good little children say, "Yes." Check that out, for real. Gardeners in Baltimore are very suspicious but what is there to say? They must have used unicorn fart and 'hot air blowing up your ass' fertilizer, which we all know works miracles. Plans to enhance the fertilizer next year will include the dead bodies of the former Fox News Channel's anchors.
Alas, while Michelle has a magic garden, she's no Carol or Paula. Vintage blast from the past coming up - one of my favorite childhood shows.