Scrabble Controversy...New Words

When I read that they were adding controversial new "Q Without U" words, I knew some would relate to Islam, and naturally I was right ;) Anyway, here's the piece, with my comments.

Scrabble, one of the last bastions of grammatical purism in a world overrun by cell phone text abbreviations, is capitulating to the times.

The board game plans to add 3,000 new words to its official dictionary, including several slang terms like "thang" (9 points) and "grrl" (5 points) as well as pop culture touchstones, like Facebook and MySpace.

Oh FFS, "thang" and "grrl"??? NO! Fuck Scrabble. That's it, I'll never buy a new board or dictionary again. Also, Facebook and MySpace don't even QUALIFY for the game because they have capitals? Hello? WTF? (Why don't they add WTF?)

Turning the most heads is the inclusion of "innit," a condensation of "isn't it" that will earn you 5 points - and the undying hatred of any English majors who are playing along.

Innit? INNIT? Hate. Rage. Loathing. I say it occasionally conversationally, but it is NOT acceptable in a Scrabble game. Well, it is NOW; thanks, assholes.

In addition, two new "Q" words have been added that don't require a "u". "Qin" (a Chinese zither, with strings stretched across a flat box) will earn you 12 points, while "Fiqh" (an expansion of Islamic sharia law) will add 19 to your score. Each will also almost certainly have your opponents rushing to challenge the words.

Told ya'!

The push to make the game more relevant to a generation that's more familiar with "Words with Friends" is a risky one. While updating the dictionary makes it a more hip game, the move is bound to upset some fans, who have always taken pride in the fact that the game was never "dumbed down".

SOME fans? SOME? EVERYONE hates this shit. I don't give a damn what "Words with Friends" players think - some of us have been playing Scrabble for 40 or 50 or 60 YEARS and we've submitted to every bullshit change that came along. This is a step too far. Period.

The game's publishers say the additions make this the "most comprehensive Scrabble wordlist ever produced," but that's doing little to soothe some players' ruffled feathers.

"I don't like slang words at all, but if they are going to put them in we will have to use them," Jean Gallacher, of Scotland's Inverness Scrabble Club, told The Scotsman. "I think there is too much slang in the English language as it is, with the way young people are talking."

Let's face it: it might be fun to earn 12 points by laying down "blingy," but you certainly won't impress the person across that table that has just dropped "Quixotry".

BLINGY? Oh seriously, fuck this game forever.

I bet you thought I was joking about the "controversial" bit, didn't you? I really wasn't, because it's bad enough when they pull this shit, but this...no. Just no. It's a bridge too far and they know it. See, we take that shit seriously. Just think if all of a sudden there was a new poker hand in between 2 pair and 3 of a kind, like 2 pair plus one card lower than the opponent's 3 of a kind? How would you like that if you were a longtime poker player? Or some change to golf scoring that enabled you to take one stroke off your score if you make it to the next tee in 5 minutes? I mean, that's what this is like. It's bogus bullshit. Why don't they change the board? Throw in a few random triple word scores? Or take a dump in the letter bag before they ship it? Jackholes.

Random, Announcement, Movie review

Well, we all love a man in uniform.

Ok, nobody ever really believes the true story of a black eye (even the person who has one) but it really was a stupid accident. Doesn't hurt much but I look like Rocky yelling "Yo, Adrienne, I did it!" So in the interest of never letting that happen again, and since I'm getting too old for this stuff, screw it. No more booze. I'll miss it but I'll live. In the meantime no mirrors for me and lots of ice. Anyway I mention it because I might not be blogging until the world is 3-d again and the other eye isn't straining. Don't worry; this is not an emergency; this is a test. If it had been an actual emergency you'd have been alerted where to go. (Except when it finally happened we totally weren't.)

So...don't you think it would be cool if alchemy worked? I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

Dirty mind, it's a GUITAR.

It's not photoshop. It's a male bird of paradise (otherwise known as a wtf?) attracting a mate. The females apparently like 70s fad t-shirts.

OK I was going to do a review of Of Mice and Men but not now; someone's sleeping in here. So I'll get back to it then go on a little vacation (a week should do it...sorta - actually it's already a lot better today, though it probably LOOKS worse. I really bruise like a grape. If grapes bruised. Maybe apples.) And the stupid things don't even show up most of the time until they're done hurting. Idiot bruises.

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't like poetry at all? Especially if it doesn't rhyme. It's IMO the worst stuff Poe turned out (his Scheherazade story was awesome, though). Ok I had a book full of dirty limericks written by Isaac Asimov and that's as far as I go. Ok and Martin Buxbaum's book (it's rather sing-songy and sort of shallow) and of course Now We Are Six by A.A. Milne. But that's it.

Seems I skipped E

Seems I skipped E. Isn't that just like me? A redhaired scatterbrain (I consider myself in good company there - two words; Lucille Ball.) Let's see if we can remedy this (though as Phthalo and others pointed out, no one said we had to do them IN ORDER, did they?) E is for cookie, that's good enough for me...uh, yeah, that doesn't work, does it? For E we shall do perhaps Egg. Eggs are wonderful, amazing, magical things. You can take chicken eggs and scramble them, fry them sunny-side up, over easy (my favorite), emulsify solutions, dip your to-be-fried items in them (in preparation for seasoned flour or breadcrumbs) - hell, we did an entire unit on eggs in cooking class. I took cooking class? Hell yeah, I did. You know why? I didn't want to learn to cook; I was HUNGRY. Some bussed-in black girl used to take my lunch money every day; and at home I had (well I described my brother's diet, so you might not wonder, but I might get a bunless hamburger patty - or, worse, one with white bread that the ketchup soaked through to make pink paste) - well let's just say except for Thanksgiving and Christmas I got pretty scant rations. Not because the woman wouldn't cook and serve, but because the food SUCKED.

There are also human eggs...and unlike the stupid Look Whose Talking Two, the tail does NOT enter the egg; the tail falls right the hell off. I was sick of those eggs getting fertilized so I had the snip. And ain't I glad...TWO IS ENOUGH. God bless the people who have a dozen, but I ain't one of them. Uh, where would I put them, first of all?

Eggs, eggs, eggs; use your imagination; you can think of a zillion things to do with eggs or that happen with eggs. So E is for Eggs.

Oh, not to mention there are chickens who lay pastel eggs - Easter chickens! They have golden hair/feathers and they lay pretty pretty eggs. I once read a story where one of those chickens laid an UGLY shade of green egg; instead of eating it, they let it hatch. It was deformed and had a blind, white eye. But then I read it in the Reader's Digest, which ain't so reliable. But apparently that was the sweetest little chicken you ever did see. Ugly as he was to look at. So; Eggs.

How could I skip Balut? Balut is a duck egg (and oh, duck is good) that's half-hatched. They let it go a certain number of days and then they COOK it...in hot sand or something. Then, complete with feathers, bones and beak, they break it open and put a little vinegar on it (to drown the taste?) and you just...eat it. Andrew Zimmern actually liked it...except, you know, those pesky FEATHERS and BONES and BEAK. Now...why not remove the bones and beak and feathers and serve it as a delicacy? Frankly, prenatal duck sounds wonderful. Except that deal-breaking feathers and beak and bones. It'd probably be delicious. Well, except that hard yolk. I don't like yolk unless it's liquid. Ok, eggs.

G: Gramma

No, no picture. I looked at that pictures and there's NO picture like her. GULP - gotta drink a BIG drink for this one. How can I describe my gramma? Why would you care? Well IF you care, she was a...as my mother describes her, a "saint'. And a Catholic doesn't say that lightly. No, she wasn't a sain't, she was a human being with her faults and her weaknesses, but she was GOOD. She knew her husband ran around, didn't she? She knew her daughter didn't love her daughter and she knew her husband (who was raising his granddaughter) was a prick...and still she tried to make peace. Every time I hear "Blessed are the peacemakers" I think of her. She TRIED. Succeed? No. But TRIED. I prayed and prayed that I would be a peacemaker....HAHA!!! I TRY. They accuse me of wanting for selfish reasons...SO? I WANT PEACE. I don't give a fuck why.

Interview...

Interview With the Vampire...

Interveiw with the Vampire. Louis is SUCH a liar. You don't know until The Vampire Lestat. And Lestat KILLS Louis. He just kills him. Louis is just such a liar. Almost everything he says is a lie. Louis can NOT read minds and thus he gets EVERYTHING wrong. Why should I care? Because I DO. Lestat is the KING; he RULES. The first four books ROCK. Uh...don't read the fifth book, it blows. But the first four? Oh, read it! Thatisall.

D: Desperation, Diligence, doo-wop

Duke of Earl reunion:

There's my doo-wop section - oh yeah, baby, Duke of Earl, kickin'ass in the morning and taking names in the evening. Now how do you follow THAT up?

Well I guess we move on to "Desperation." It means many things to many people; but I suppose I'm talking about the Stephen King book. It was a new concept in publishing - to simultaneously come out with two books, intertwined, one by his long-dead Pseudonym "Richard Bachman" and one by King himself. So you're not a King fan; you can surely appreciate his innovations in the publishing industry. The two books had identical character names; the Bachman book had been "found" by his widow many years after his "death - death by cancer of the pseudonym" but while they had the same character names they did NOT have the same characters nor the same story. Only the same...flavor. Naturally he put King's name to the better of the two books, "Desperation". What struck me, as always does in his books, is that there is usually only ONE (possibly two) people in the entire cast who find themselves in highly bizarre supernatural circumstances, but only ONE person (maybe two, if the second is retarded) who PRAYS. Contrast this with War of the Words where as one would expect, most of the people find themselves in church praying for God's help. No, in King-world, there's one strange person who prays and believes. Is this realistic? No. Not really. As a drowning man will grasp the point of a sword, people in dire circumstances find themselves saying "Oh god, help, Oh God, HELP!" There are no atheists in foxholes right? (Well, there are, but they're a minority.)

See, what struck me in Desperation was that the one 11 year old believer repeated endlessly throughout the book that "God is cruel." And...well, yeah I suppose he is. Since you're not gonna read it anyway I'll give away the end and say that the biggest atheist in the book left a note for the believer that said, "God is Love." It was...well it was earth-shattering. He IS love. But what we perceive and what we know is often two opposite things. Somehow,somewhere, some way, God IS Love. Don't ask me how; I'm just the messenger.

Diligence? Oh, hell, I wish I could learn it. I was never taught it and I don't know how to do it. So there it is. Hah! I thought I was gonna ace this challenge but apparently I suck at it. But I got a few comments and that's all I ever really wanted so I suppose I should count it a success. Diligence...hehe. ME,diligence. Antonyms. There is an acronym in Lisey's Story called "SOWISA" (Strap on Whenever It Seems Necessary.) There was a time when I could do that. Could that time possibly be past? I'm not even that old. But it's the mileage kid, not the years. Perhaps someday I shall be called on to strap it on yet again. Maybe I'll even be able to. Hah. Lotsa luck.

B: Bubblething, Bullwhip, Brother, Barking Moonbats

Bubble thing. I never got the hang of it, but I didn't try too hard either. Good stuff (video.)

I first saw this guy doing bubble tricks years ago in a video at Six Flags and my God is he awesome - he says THIS is what you get for playing with bubbles every day for eight years. And, er, I bet some of the smoke he uses at home ISN'T tobacco, either. Excellent video.

Trivia - the sound of cracking when someone flicks a whip is actually a mini sonic boom; created when the last few inches of whip breaks the sound barrier - over 700 mph. But I still liked it when Harrison Ford just took out his gun and shot the one guy instead of whip-fighting him; biggest laugh of the movie. Oddly, it turns out they DID have a massive fight planned, but Ford has dystentery and said "Look, guys - can I PLEASE just shoot the guy? I'm not up to this." Inadvertently making the movie better than it already was. But then Lucas and Spielberg are basically insane.

Ok so I will do brother then. I had one hell of a family; it was the sport of all three of them to think up new ways to torture me - a group effort; yay teamwork! Shitheads. But my little brother was a character and a half. Uh...yeah they all were, but he took the cake in some ways. I mean what do you say about a boy who carried a pink baby doll to school every day (and everywhere else) until he was ten? Yeah, I thought the same thing. Baby Big Boy, he called it. It had a string and had like 8 different phrases I think. Sure the kids at school ragged on him - so did I. Come on, the kid did latchhook ffs. Ok so it was sort of cute, and he'd been sick a lot as a younger toddler, so one can perhaps not blame them for spoiling him stark raving rotten. But get real...if you have to peel a boiled hot dog and the kid has only 6 other items on his entire menu...all of which are snow white (god help you if you didn't cut off every shred of brown off the dry-ass roasted skinless chicken breast and heaven help you if two things touched on his plate!) then your kid is just a tad too picky. Plain pasta (just salt), french fries - only the middle; ends would be discarded, peeled green apples, white bread with Marshmallow Fluff on it, plain peeled hot dogs on white buns, potatoes whipped until they're the consistency of runny Cool Whip...um, that's about it. Oh, except the popcorn - just dug through and bit off the puffy tops, left all the rest back in the bowl - one time a friend of my mother's dug into a bowl of popcorn only to hear my mother say, "Um, S already ate that." Ew. No pizza, NO tomato sauce, no cheese, no milk (well maybe with Bosco in it) and the ketchup had to be stored in the cabinet (Heinz only) so it wasn't cold. He told every girlfriend that if there were ever to be any cohabitation or marriage, HE would do the "cooking." That's cooking? And I haven't even told you the worst, most bizarre aspects of their unnatural relationship. Just trust me, it sure wasn't pretty, and it was downright horrifying at times. Some lunatic Oedipal thing or something...yeah, I'm not going there; it's too gross and feels too disloyal even if I don't talk to any of them anymore. You know what I like? Christian brothers. And that's every bit as real as any blood ties. (No offense to non-Christians; I love you guys too! ;) ) Over the years my brother-in-law has come to be much like a real brother...took a long time and a lot of patient sowing, but we care about each other. Big confirmed bachelor type, so we're kinda all he's got. And maybe he's all we've got too, since their mother passed on. He's got his flaws, but don't we all? And as Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that. I actually found the doll on ebay once (vintage and everything) and was gonna buy it and send it to him for a joke, but it never worked out. I thought it might be funny for his wife to see his old childhood love :D Ah well, didn't happen. Well...C tomorrow. I got my first word all set up (it's been going through my head for days) but I'll have to think of some other stuff. This is kind of fun!!

And for those of you who hate moonbattery, here's a link to the Barking Moonbat Early Warning System. I prefer to mention the howling at the moon, but this works too. Howl at the Moon.

A: Absinthe, Antarctica, Anarchy

That's what the American Absinthe looks like; it's a snazzy black bottle and was only put back on the market fairly recently...they outlawed it for a long time. Unfortunatelyit's very expensive; - looks like it's gone down some but it was almost 70 dollars a bottle. For the higher wormwood content European stuff, which you have to order from Europe itself, it's more like $300 a bottle. Ouch. So it's been quite some time since I've had it. If you can afford it I highly recommend giving it a go. It's quite unlike any other drink, and the effect isn't really like being drunk; it's more like being in an altered state altogether.

If you DO try it, however, go to the site and see how to properly louche it first - don't make the mistake I did and just drink it. Like the guy says in the instruction video, you'd have to be insane to drink it straight. Now he tells me.

Quite interesting; they provide a little metal strainer which is put atop the glass with a sugar cube on it, and you gently pour a tiny stream of ice-cold water over it...as it hits the liquid, you can watch it cloud up and get thick. You can even by a loucher that lets off a steady stream of water. Good stuff.

Antarctica Condition ONE weather- my god, COVER IT! It's like the passage to hell!

Anarchy? No, not the cookbook, the ideology. I can't tell you how many times I've been accused of promoting anarchy (or, swing the other way and they'll tell you I'm promoting Nazi fascism; either way they get it wrong.) I'm sorry, free markets coupled with common law protections are anarchy? And how exactly did the National Socialists promote either one? The comparisons just don't add up, my friend.

Disaster Averted

Ok so I'm sitting on my bed eating some roasted chicken (even if I do think I make it better than my husband does; he thinks different) and reading. Husband, son and daughter are all down the hall in the kitchen eating chicken. All of a sudden "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHCCCHHHHH" - this SCREAM of a choke starts coming down the hall, and I know it's my daughter, because it's her voice. Then it starts going on, and on, and ONNNN! She was choking sure as hell. Now I know the conventional wisdom and it's *normally* quite correct - as long as the person is making sounds or coughing (uh, which makes a sound) then leave them alone to get it out, right? But no, it was VERY clear with this sound that it was to be immediately followed by silence - either by a complete blockage of the airway or death, or both. Normally I'm very good in any emergency and I almost started running down the hall to Heimlich the kid (now again,normally you wouldn't Heimlich someone unless there was no sound, and there are very good reasons for that; you're trying to use the last bit of air left inside to dislodge whatever's stuck in there, but like I say, in this case if you had heard it you would know; it WAS time to try) - but for some reason instead I screamed "OH MY GOD HELP HER, PLEASE HELP HER!" (I was talking to my husband and son there, not praying for a miracle.) And as I'm screaming that I hear my husband say, "No, get UNDER there!" - now if there's one thing I've taught my kids, it's life-saving techniques and first aid. And remaining calm and pro-active during an emergency. It kept on and on...and then suddenly, it stopped and she was ok. I was JUST about to run down the hall (I can't run, but under the right conditions I could probably lift a car, you know?) and dial 911 but that wasn't the answer; the problem is that in that 4 minutes she would have been dead. And unfortunately our most local ambulance services closed up shop so it would be more minutes; we'd end up with some idiot asshole rookie cop telling us to wait for an ambulance or something. Hell, wait until I tell about the time I had a seizure and the difference between the ambulance help and the police help (hint: the cops always get there first.)

Anyway, I'm still screaming, "IS SHE OK, IS SHE??? WHAT HAPPENED?" and I heard, oh thank God, I heard her saying "It's OK Mommy".

But of course I had to get all the inside poop so I made them all come in and tell me what happened in detail. It was a CHICKEN BONE caught in her airway - almost but not quite fully blocking it. I said "So, did you get it up on your own, or did he get it up for you?" She said "Oh hell no, it wasn't going ANYWHERE; HE got it up! As soon as daddy told him to get UNDER there" (he started a tad too high).

So I started singing that song "How to save a life..." because I was so happy and proud. Why in hell she was chewing a bite with a bone in it I'll never know; I wouldn't. It was JUST like the scene in Amadeus where Salieri's father chokes on a chicken bone (he must have been a good actor because the sound was exactly the same only more drawn out and repeated many times.) So then of course I had to quote Salieri there - when his father was choking on a chicken bone, he said, "And then you know what happened? A MIRACLE!" See, he hated his father ;) But frankly I did not want to go watch this young woman I love die, part of why I hesitated, in fact.

Then I told my son "You actually saved her LIFE; you're a hero!" And no one will ever know; pity, that. But I can rest easy in the knowledge that I DID pass on some great tools and the ability to use them to the people that matter most to me. Sure, I could have done it - I HAVE done it, but to see someone else do it is awe-inspiring; especially when you know you were the one who taught them how.

Ok so I'll include one other anecdote (aren't you lucky! lol) - not the last thanksgiving but the one before that, our ailing cousin - well, my husband's cousin, but she's always treated me as family - was sitting next to me and she didn't have her plate in. And she didn't cut her turkey small enough. And it was slightly underdone,and thus a tad more...rubbery? (No, it wasn't rubbery; it was delicious, but rubbery will do.) And she was sitting right next to me, and suddenly...that sound. That horrible choking sound. And I did what you're supposed to; I asked her if she was choking, and she kept choking. Then I asked her if she was all right, and she shook her head no. Emphatically. See, you normally have some idea if you're gonna cough something up. She was still making sounds, but when someone tells you they're choking and they're NOT OK, you gotta go for it. So I jumped the hell up and grabbed her skinny ass and PUSHED. A second later, she said "Ok ok ok ok - I got it; it's up." I only had to do it once. Ideally, you only have to do it once; like I say, the idea is to use the last bit of air to dislodge the thing. Postscript - as she's standing there (did I forget to mention she stood up, as one naturally would, when she started choking really bad?) I saw across the table my brother-in-law sitting there looking extremely annoyed, rolling his eyes and looking at his plate...wtf? I was like, the girl is CHOKING here, hello?!? (Girl...hehe, she's 50.) Anyway, later on he actually mentioned it disgustedly, about how she was "puking" on her plate. I said "She wasn't puking, she was CHOKING to death". And...in her typical fashion of demeaning me in little ways (she doesn't know she's doing it so I don't fault her so much for it) she said, "You almost had it, too." Heh. That's the thanks I get for dislodging the turkey - you ALMOST had the spot. As though I didn't kick it the hell out personally. Ah well; I don't want credit - watchword for emergencies - remain calm, and employ your techniques. Use them appropriately, and be trained in first aid. No one remained calm or knew the techniques to breathe air into me when I stopped breathing so I pretty much drilled it into them even more after that. In fact, I drilled everyone who came to my house - "Hey, if I ever stop breathing, THIS is how you do it..." Hehe. I like to breathe. When I found out that CPR only works 2% of the time I was dismayed and when I read that those paddles of electricity can NOT *restart* your heart but can only stabilize an ailing heartbeat, I was doubly dismayed. What the hell did I learn all that stuff for? Well...you gotta try :) So...lives saved, many at any rate. Heh, when I swallowed a penny at 1 1/2 or 2 (I remember it, but I was tiny) my babysitter saw me sitting there not breathing and choking, and SHE hung me upside down by my feet and pounded me on the back. By the way, it worked! Out popped the penny! Gravity rocks!

Or HERE

Once, Twice, Three Times the Punishment...

Ok so this doesn't make any sense to me. Well it makes SOME sense but I hate it, try that.

You see, this man has four wives. And umpteen kids (no, I'm not looking it up, YOU look it up.) HOW? WHY? FOR WHAT? Look, it's one thing to be a playa and have 4 girls you're screwing, right? This isn't that. This is four WIVES. With all their non-birth-controlled kids. All in the same house. This is "Sister Wives" - a positive portrayal of a polygamous family, with ONE man and four wives and endless kids. In fact, after meeting one of his sister wives, her MOTHER ended up becoming part of the family by marrying his father...or maybe his mother. Never mind that he already HAD a wife. SHE, quite naturally, was jealous at first, but he just LOVED it, didn't he? Is it really worth it? To have four holes to bury your sword in? SERIOUSLY?

No, I don't get it. I actually cried to my husband, asking him if he would want another fucking WIFE - isn't one bad enough??? The responsibility, the care, the heartache...the shit we ALL go through...how could you possibly share that equally with FOUR OTHER PEOPLE? You can't. Fuck this guy. Fuck sister wives. I don't care how much they love each other as gals, it ain't natural. One might argue that monogamy isn't natural either - FUCK YOU! YES IT IS. Yes we can! I only want one man and I sure as FUCK don't want that man running off to share his bed with another woman who he allegedly loves equally to me; other women, BACK OFF! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM. He loves ME. ME ME ME ME ME. Call it what you want you stupid polygamous fucks; you're SICK.

The Weirdest Thing Happened on the Way to My Blog Today...

I tried to go to my blog this morning via the URL and got a message that my blog had been REMOVED; no explanation, no nothing. So I started following links and trying to get some telephone help -ended up with an Amazon phone number (which in my distress I mistook for a google number), called it, and the woman took my info and filled out a form asking them to reinstate the blogspot, and asking if there was any further information they needed. She said it would take 24 - 48 hours. Great. But then I got an email from Amazon asking if she'd resolved my problem and lo and behold, the next time I tried to get to the blog, it was there. What. the. hell.??? What does Amazon have to do with it? Why does google have all sorts of personal information about me associated with my gmail account? Why did she deign to help me when they're not affiliated in that way? Why did the account suddenly appear again? Oh, none of this makes any sense at all and I. don't. like. it. When I had my own domain it was fine and dandy but my hiatus caused me to miss the last couple bills on the domain so it is gone for good. (Another 5 or 7 years of my work just gone, but c'est la vie.)

Well, for the moment the blog is here and if it disappears again I'll certainly try to get the correct phone number to rectify it (no way I'll be waiting for mere emails.) And as soon as (and assuming IF) I can rectify my financial problems I'm doing my own domain again to end all this ridiculous hassle. I really don't want or need it. But er...uh...thanks Amazon for helping me?? If you did? And...yeah, domain time. The name isn't taken and I can still get it back, so I'll do that if it comes to it and I'm ever able. In the meantime I'm also going to mark down all my blogroll addresses somewhere where they won't be lost if something should go kerflooey again. But I tell you...WEIRD.

State of the What?

Oh. Barry was on television again? That's nice. Isn't he, like, always on television? You know what would have been hilarious? If halfway through the speech, he got Bill Clinton to come out and finish it for him. I would have totally watched that on youtube. I might take a peek at Bachmann's rebuttal transcripts, because some conservatives were getting very pissy about that. So, you know, just to see what it's all about. Maybe. Other than that, I really don't give a rat's ass.

I made it through 8 years of Clinton without watching one of these things, and didn't suffer for it. I think I can make it through the next 6. Or two. Whatever. Come to think of it, I didn't watch Bush's either. Because I just didn't, that's why. With Clinton I changed the channel the minute he ever came on, because A) he was a camera whore who NEVER got his mug out of the lens and B) I knew if his lips were moving he was lying anyway, so what was the point? With Bush I just figured there were now plenty of ways to keep informed as to what's going on and listening to a canned presidential speech is just about on the bottom rung of that list. So why would I suddenly tune in for yet another camera whore whose lip movement means "lie" and now there are even *more* ways to stay informed? Yeah, I wouldn't, that's what. If I really want to know the state of the union I'll just watch Idiocracy.

I have my own rebuttal planned anyway, and I'll give it to you now: Your revolution is over, Lebowski; the bums lost - my condolences! Is there really anything more I could hope to learn by listening to Obama read his teleprompter? I didn't think so either.

To those of you who watched it - just think, you could have been drinking margaritas and playing online card games at Pogo instead. Or having sex. (Alone or with someone; doesn't matter.) Or watching something useful like Dumb and Dumber. Maybe shooting some pool. I hope it was worth it for you.

And to cheer you up if you DID waste your time, here's a fun funny with lots of Biden lols - Good Stuff

Dipshit on Display

Obviously no one is going to quit bitchin; that's what blogs are for, right? At least I think so. But sometimes a character so odious, so repugnant, so abhorrent just keeps on and on and on for years and gets themselves put in the national spotlight yet, that you would really just wish they would once and for all just stfu. During the Edwards campaign two bloggers were hired to connect with the internet generation - I don't think little Johnny did much vetting, as these bloggers were so over-the-moonbat, so far left of Stalin, and so blatantly offensive to most Americans that Edwards actually had to fire them in shame and pretend the whole thing never happened. One of them I knew from the good old days (12 years or so perhaps - and she's a real humdinger all right) and one was a new one to me. It's that one I'm going to proverbially shred here, as she's just begging herself for a verbal shredding and always is. And since she always refers to herself as Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain, I'm going to use very strong words to do it. Now I could do this every day since something insane appears every day, and I could exist for years doing nothing but that and never miss a single day blogging. But I don't have that kind of stamina, so let's settle for one representative shredding and leave the new blog idea for someone who has the stomach for it. It's a blog called shakespearessister and it's a haven of radical feminist leftism and constant invective. I've nothing against invective if it's A) funny and/or B) true, but none of this is either. As I've learned to my sorrow. This is someone who relies on Ezra Klein, KOS, ThinkProgress, and PAUL effing Krugman, who she apparently believes is an economist and not a politico duping millions as he rakes in the money.

One of today's offerings:

97: The percentage of Republicans in the House who "will still be receiving insurance through the Federal Employees' Health Benefits Plan—a federal exchange which offers subsidized coverage to federal government workers, including members of Congress. According to a ThinkProgress analysis, seven, or just three percent of all the Republicans in the House have agreed to give up their insurance while they vote to repeal coverage for some 32 million Americans."

Why yes, yes they will still be receiving health coverage. Let's put this in some perspective, shall we? See, the Republicans tried to introduce a plan that if the country were going to be forced into accepting Obamacare that the congress should have to all be covered under Obamacare as well. Guess who rejected that idea? The Democrats. None of them felt Obamacare was good enough for *them* - just for all of us, no matter how much we don't want it. Some of us don't want to be fined for not buying insurance when we can't afford it. Some of us know exactly where it's leading and don't want that either. And who are these mythical 30 million people who suddenly have health care that didn't before? Last I read, there are 222 companies (all contributors to Obama's campaigns) that are exempt from the bill now, and companies are being forced to charge more for insurance, drop people altogether, raise co-pays and cover fewer things in order to cut their expenses from this monstrosity of a bill. But an imaginary 30million new poor people have coverage. Uh-huh. Hey, I have this bridge available...

Scrolling down I see the constantly-covered "blood libel" anti-Semitic charge against Palin even though prominent Rabbis like Schmuley Boteach say she used it quite properly and even Ed Koch, who admits he is terrified of Palin's policy, says she didn't say anything wrong and did a good job with her speech. Others deride it as being a purposeful stab at the Jews, when Palin is an ardent Israel supporter (uh,yeah, Obama isn't.) But here's one no one else thought to mention because it's just that ridiculous.

At one point in the interview (which is viewable here), she also says: "They can't make us sit down and shut up." "Sit down and shut up" is a common enough phrase, but her they can't make us construction is evocative of the language of social justice movements, and the Civil Rights Movement in particular. That Palin chose to use these words, in this way, on Martin Luther King Day, is no coincidence.

No accident. Yes, she said "they can't make us" because she hates black people. You know why no one else reported this? Because it doesn't make any sense. But guess what? You CAN'T make us sit down and shut up. You CAN'T tell us we can "come along for the ride but they have to sit in back" as Obama said about Republicans. Because we won't do it. We may scare you, but you don't scare us.

You really should thank me because scrolling through this shit is harder than it looks. *Everything* is horrible and shred-worthy. And those words are no accident! They come on the anniversary of the Fargo woodchipper incident which as we all know was an anti-feminist crime.

Ah, she has a whole category called "Both Sides are Not Just As Bad." Why yes, yes they are. See also Fuller, the slew of new death threats to the Palins, and just...well yes, yes it's demonstrably true that both sides ARE just as bad. I've provided 3 links of the proof of that, one of which is a literal roundup of dozens of links proving exactly that. Now don't get me wrong - I don't see why *anyone* should "tone it down" - neither "side" (they seem to forget there are more than two sides here - hell, the CWA is boycotting CPAC because GOProud is welcome there; there are libertarians and there are all sort of other legitimate political foundations aside from the two parties, but hey, I'll stay with the phony "two-sided" meme if that floats your boat.)

As I've written before, anti-choice activists, in conjunction with the GOP, have successfully chipped away at abortion rights on the federal and state levels for two decades, hollowing the right guaranteed by Roe via "partial-birth abortion bans" and "parental consent laws" and state legislatures that refuse to fund clinics offering abortions and local municipalities creating barriers with zoning laws.

Bitch, please. D&X abortion is an atrocity almost anyone (well, anyone with a soul) can recognize, unless the baby is in a condition that is LITERALLY incompatible with life such as anencephaly. That isn't usually why it's done. And you know it. You know the AMA has said that procedure is never necessary to save the life of the mother, either. And yes, Dr. Tiller was a monster; I read up on his background and his statements. No, no one should have shot him, but that doesn't change what he was. And it isn't why so many clinics closed *years* before that. They operate for profit; if profits fall off, they close. Abortion is at an all-time low; apparently we don't need as many clinics because maybe,just MAYBE, people are using birth control. PARENTAL CONSENT LAWS do not take away anyone's rights; they RESTORE the right of the parents to have *knowledge* of serious medical procedures taking place on their CHILDREN - if the nurse can't give her an aspirin without your consent, they sure as shit can't operate on her. Get real. That doesn't restrict her right to have one; the parents have to be notified but that doesn't mean they can stop it. And ME refusing to PAY YOU for your abortion isn't taking away your right to have one. You find the fucking money; I don't owe you an abortion. Next time use a rubber; they're everywhere, you know.

The people who use violent rhetoric, and violence, bank on that response. They provoke until Something Bad Happens, and they count on their opponents' decency, which they exploit for maximum gain.

As Coulter said, if you want to know what the left is up to, just look at what they're accusing conservatives of. Believe me, no one over here is counting on YOU people to be anything approaching "decent". You never have been, why start now?

You know what every last Democrat in Congress needs to start shouting in front of every camera and into every microphone they can find...? That Rep. Gabrielle Giffords is only alive today because she had access to some of the best healthcare on the planet, which is paid for by the taxpayers of this nation, who deserve the same as she's got.

Oh good god. Where do you start with THAT? First of all, it was paid for by tax dollars because she works for the fucking government and all her salary and benefits come from the taxpayers. I certainly don't begrudge her health coverage provided by her job. Which so many people are now LOSING thanks to Obamacare. And WHY did she get the best healthcare in the world? Because she got it in the United States, which has maintained a semblance of a free market in the field and thus is constantly *innovating* and making advances in the field. Also because in this country it is ILLEGAL to turn away anyone who needs emergency care - such as someone who was just SHOT IN THE HEAD. Anyone would get the care available in their area and the bill comes later - if you are indigent it usually gets written off to charity care. They can't attach your wages for it or put you in jail for not paying it or take your house away for it - all they can do is try to collect. Ok those were the laws last time I needed medical care; have they changed? Did Obamacare fuck me over now too?

Then there's a rant on how evil Gwyneth Paltrow is for dispensing advice to other mothers because her privilege is so obvious. Now if only she'd done it the way Cracked did it it would have been funny. She doesn't "get" funny. Her idea of funny is this one rape joke (which only rape survivors get to make) that she is so proud of she constantly parades it around the place as one of the only acceptable rape jokes in existence. If I could make jokes I would totally make rape jokes since I'm allowed to since I had one too! (Ok, a couple but who's counting?) Please don't tell me you're sorry; I'm fine. Plenty of worse things have happened to me.

After seeing Palin's response to the witch-hunt and blood libel she is being subjected to - ON THAT VERY BLOG I MIGHT ADD - this blogger is "literally shaking with rage" so badly that she's "actually incoherent" right now. When WERE you coherent?

Embedded within Gergen's admonishment is the damnable lie that pointing out this act of violence does not exist in a void is the same thing as placing blame for the massacre.

You and your whole following certainly DID blame Palin and Beck et. al. and so did millions of other people. KOS insists "Mission accomplished, Sarah Palin" and one blog owner insists that there has to be some way Palin can be legally tried for this murder spree. Sound a little like blame? Yeah, I thought so too.

There's a complaint that Joe Biden made the same joke to every little girl or young woman he greeted during the congressional swearing in - "No dating until you're 30!" He just kept saying it and saying it. Poor Joe; he can only get UNINTENTIONAL laughs; when he tries he totally fails. But in this case he's being the "gatekeeper of women's sexuality." Wow. I didn't know my vagina had a gatekeeper all its own. Thanks Joe!

Ok, here's the one I wanted. I gave up scrolling and did a search. There's a new movie with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston (sounds...awful) where he enlists the help of his friend (Aniston) to help him get the girl of his dreams. Obviously they will fall in love during the process and end up together; formula comedy at its "finest", right? Hokey bullshit no one will bother with. But wait! They use anti-feminist sexual assault imagery - it's a rape movie! WHO KNEW?

Here, we see Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler sitting on the beach fist-bumping each other, sealing the deal in which she'll help him "land the woman of his dreams." In the background, her bikini-clad back turned to the camera, is, presumably, said dream woman.

But take a closer look at the way their fists are positioned as they bump. X notes via email: "They appear to be about to pull apart the model's legs, like a turkey wishbone. This might take some kind of prize as the subtlest version of violence against women in movie posters that I've ever seen, but it still definitely suggests a violent act."

I guess it does if you're insane. In fact it's so subtle no one else will ever see it.

This is not a coincidence. The entire premise of the movie is that Sandler has enlisted Aniston's help to get laid, and here is the visual representation of the two of them working together to pry apart a woman's legs.

Not an accident! Something someone in their right minds wouldn't even think of is on purpose?? Does that even make sense? And who said she's trying to help him get laid? She's trying to help him "get the girl." A girl he thinks he loves. If he wanted to rape her he wouldn't need Aniston's help, now, would he? So now the poor slob who made the stupid movie poster is accused of rape apologia. They see violence in *everything* and these are the people we're supposed to now censor our speech for because it might be "violent"? Would YOU surrender your speech to people who would police it to such a ludicrous, insane extent? I sure as hell won't.

Ghastly.

Well I would have gone with "absurd" but that's just me I guess. Let me know when they make you language czar so we can all use idiotic terms like "hir" (instead of his/her) and "zie" (instead of he/she) and cic-gender (not transgender) like you do. Because we all want to talk like assholes.

But I've gotten about a dozen violent threats this week alone—more violent threats than donations. What am I supposed to do? What are all the women like me supposed to do? The women who can't afford the best private security money can buy...?

Given your definition of "violent talk" I'm surprised it's not thousands. But again given your definition it's probably less than a dozen. You know what's pretty dumb if you ask me? Putting your real name and information on your inflammatory blog. First thing they ever told us when the net was new was not to give people your dox. First time someone said "a/s/l" in chat I got freaked. I was like uh-uh. You give someone that shit you better be sure you can trust them. Next thing you know someone's putting surveyor's symbols on your face and we all know what happens next! ??? Profit!

Ok enough crazy for one day; I enjoy ripping up stupidity, most particularly lefty stupidity (conservative stupidity AND smartidity already gets pummeled enough; I don't need to aid it.) Libertarian stupidity is just starting to get its share because it's just now really coming into its own and because it encompasses such a broad group of people (religious, non-religious, anti-religious, different ethnicities, different cultures and disagreements on various issues) so it's going to be a little harder to get that started. Libertarians don't have a Limbaugh or a Coulter or...well maybe we do. We do have Penn Jillette and Drew Carey but they're pretty hard to cut up. Since they're both AWESOME. So we'll see where that all ends up going.

I Can't Help Liking This Boy

If it's cut off (WHY IS EVERYTHING CUT OFF HERE! I NEED TECH SUPPORT!) view it HERE

I just can't help it; every time I see this, and I know this kid is obviously influenced by the toxic media that hates all things conservative (or even libertarian for some reason), but I just keep liking him more. He's adorable. And hilarious yet sad too. And you can see he means what he's saying. I'm signing up for his youtube channel; that's it. He won me over. Do give it a look; at the very least he really does cover most everything that happened this year :)

Happy New Year!

Funny and Surreal

I don't know what to say about this "field trip" except holy crap! But this guy tells the story so funny. Props to him for making us laugh. (Shamelessly snagged from That is Racist

The Modern Racism

From The DC - "South Carolina Republican Tim Scott made history Tuesday night by becoming the first African-American Republican to be elected to Congress from the Deep South since Reconstruction and the first African-American Republican congressman since J.C. Watts in 2003.

Elected to South Carolina’s First District — a coastal area running from Charleston to Myrtle Beach — Scott is a veritable Tea Party representative, not only receiving endorsements from Sarah Palin and Tea Party activists, but also telling The Daily Caller in July that he was more inclined to join the Tea Party Caucus than the Congressional Black Caucus.

Running on a platform of fiscal restraint, repeal of the health care law, low taxes, and smaller government, Scott’s message won the day."

I really feel for this guy. He's got one hell of a battle ahead of him. Instead of being just an evil obstructionist hater, he's also going to be a token, an Uncle Tom, a tool, and a traitor to his race.

He's let himself in for cartoons like this one: and a slew of other racist cartoons that were directed at Condi, Thomas, and others. I wish him all the best in the world. Hold firm, my friend! Oh, and:

A Brief Hello from Nowhere

Hiya, folks (if you're still there) - just a brief note to let you know I'm still alive and kicking, but have been avoiding the computer and politics like the plague...just one of those life seasons. As a matter of fact, I logged on to my gmail account to find it had been hacked, and I was getting threatening phone calls from a barely intelligible Indian man pretending to be, in turns, a police officer and a lawyer, claiming I was to be sued for thousands of dollars for internet fraud because of an ever-changing amount of money on a debt that never existed. Show ME to go on hiatus, eh? He had all sorts of frightening information, such as our bank account number, last four digits of social, etc. I finally realized it was a scam after a few moments of panic and told him to find another patsy. But he called several more times until my husband took to reading him the bible - he doesn't call anymore. The number the calls came from is on google with several comments from people who he'd attempted the same scam on; who knows how many more caved in and sent the several hundred they were demanding to make it all go away. Heh.

Anyway, I will eventually get back to following politics and enlightening everyone with my wit and wisdom (haha) but right this moment couldn't say exactly when. It's all been a moment-by-moment thing of late. Best to you all and hope this message finds you all well and hale. Namaste.