False predictions - $10 bil
Erasing evidence (badly) - $50 bil
Spreading New False Predictions - $150 bil
Handing the UN their asses on a plate - priceless.
Fools! Seriously, read the whole thing; it keeps getting better!
While you're at it, here's a great song parody - The "Squanderer", set to "The Wanderer." If you play the music while reading the lyrics, you'll realize she's really good! Here
Interview With the Vampire...Interveiw with the Vampire. Louis is SUCH a liar. You don't know until The Vampire Lestat. And Lestat KILLS Louis. He just kills him. Louis is just such a liar. Almost everything he says is a lie. Louis can NOT read minds and thus he gets EVERYTHING wrong. Why should I care? Because I DO. Lestat is the KING; he RULES. The first four books ROCK. Uh...don't read the fifth book, it blows. But the first four? Oh, read it! Thatisall.
I just can't help it; every time I see this, and I know this kid is obviously influenced by the toxic media that hates all things conservative (or even libertarian for some reason), but I just keep liking him more. He's adorable. And hilarious yet sad too. And you can see he means what he's saying. I'm signing up for his youtube channel; that's it. He won me over. Do give it a look; at the very least he really does cover most everything that happened this year :)
Happy New Year!
Videogum has taken my suggestion (I didn't see anyone else suggest it, so) and added "Bicentennial Man" to their "Search for the Worst Movie of All Time"! What they do is hilariously recap the movies, the horrible, horrible movies. In an extremely cool twist, not only did Bicentennial Man immediately jump to the TOP FIVE WORST MOVIES OF ALL TIME, it also SPAWNED an entirely new RULE - no more Robin Williams movies! Getting in under the wire WIN! I just couldn't be silent because they panned a movie I actually love, "What Dreams May Come" (did a fine job of it, too) so I said if that's the kind of movie you want to pan, you really need to see BM. While you're there, check out the full list of movies, and the site in general. While there is no shortage of pop culture humor, I think this is a pretty good one. So far I've skipped the ones I've never seen, but I'll get back to them.
S1M0NE is on there, and the utter reaming they deliver to "AI" is positively brilliant. Ok, it's not Cracked or Televisionwithoutpity, but it's good, funny stuff.
On a completely bizarre note, my husband is right now out picking up and adopting a DOG. We have never owned a dog and aside from me, everyone in the house except my daughter has been completely against the idea. Suddenly today I'm faced with a fait accompli and there will be a dog here in half an hour. I have no idea what I'm doing. I hope she provides a leash and some supplies. I did cook the little guy some bacon as a welcome to our house treat. Our cats are going to be furious, but perhaps doggie and bunny will become friends...the bunny was trying his best to befriend and play with the cat, and the cat was having none of it.
In unrelated news, I, who really doesn't care when celebrities die for the most part (OK, Lena Zavaroni upset me, and so did the passing of the old Pepperidge Farms guy, because I not only met him during a local theater production, I recorded him saying "Pepperidge Farms Remembers!" and totally had him sign a copy of a life-sized promo cut out of him that we stole from a local store.) Still, despite my disinterest, I was caught off guard by the death of Natasha Richardson. I hate celebrity news, but I love Vanessa Redgrave, and I love Liam Neeson, and the whole thing was just such a clusterfuck - poor woman was on the bunny trail taking a skiing lesson, took what by all accounts was a very normal and expected fall, in the middle of the trail where there was nothing to hurt her, walked away feeling fine, and hours later was brain dead. Wtf? Couple that with being married to Liam effing Neeson, who I love, and the fact that she was a healthy young woman with two young sons, and I'm sorry, but that's just horribly sad. What a blow to them! RIP, Natasha. Say hello to Boris.While we're here, I might as well point you to a cool new subdivision of LOLcats that will surely appeal to us middle agers - Nostalgic Wins from our pasts. I just submitted my Wooly Willy post for consideration.
The best new show you aren't watching - Dollhouse with Eliza Dushku. It's a Joss Whedon show, which is supposed to be a good thing, and the concept is a bit complicated, the characters are awesome (Topher, I love you! And Boyd? I want to have your babies), the writing is excellent, and they put Eliza in sexy outfits as she kicks serious ass. There are many various levels to the story, and Whedon has a five year plan, though he's trying to tell a complete story in the first just in case it doesn't get picked up. Go to Hulu to see the first 7 episodes (you still have time to get caught up and catch it from the beginning, which is essential), then mark off Fridays at 9 for the new ones - despite my rule of never watching network television, if they keep doing good things with this show, I'm THERE. For hilarious recaps of the episodes, visit Televisionwithoutpity after you see them, and have some laughs - join the forums if you want to talk to any other fans. Good stuff. Interestingly there was a whole flashback plot involving Dushku trying to bring down an animal testing lab, which of course totally goes back to her role in "Jaye and Silent Bob Strike Back." I am the CLIT commander! Hehe.
Moment of Zen...I guess Obama is about as far from a Lincoln as he can be, though he fancies himself a Lincoln.
Hey, it's better than a tent city. A car city! A STINGER car city. With flashlight.
Palestinians celebrating Obama's victory - oops, I mean celebrating 9/11. Did you know that Obama's sending Gaza 900 million dollars to reward their lobbing rockets into Israel for years and countless suicide bombings and doing nothing with the land except build a terrorist base? Why doesn't Israel tell us to go to hell already?
And, come to find out Henrietta Hughes, whom Womanist Musings calls "courageous" and "the foundation of the US", and claims that questioning her only proves the GOP has no heart at all, actually is a lying cheat. She signed a quit-claim deed on the home she owned jointly (actually she owned THREE lots) with her son so that her free gub'mint money wouldn't get messed up. Foundation of the US huh? Well, I guess that's true in a way. A horrible way. Sweetness and Light has all the poop; with a big Hat Tip to Moonbattery. Now I'm left to wonder, where DID that 124 grand come from, and was she hand-picked by the Obi-wan Barrel o'M**k*ys to put on that show, or did she think it up on her own? I recall reading a little something about how one gets into one of those things, and it's mighty suspicious, but then she's a phony, too, so who knows? We'll likely find out at some point, though the very act of finding out is called cruel, heartless mockery.
Hey, at least no heavy campaign contributors are illegally using government databases to search out her fraud like they did with Joe the Plumber - no one's gonna be indicted for proving what a phony this "courageous" "foundation of the US" is.
Some good reads and new places to check out.
"When We Are Queen" - two Swiftian Satirical Sisters have a good cautionary tale up right now. Check it out!
Reason just spanked me and millions of others pretty good - on the left and the right. Unfortunately they're spot on with all of it. Ouch!
And the good old standby "Blame Bush" - it's like Poe's Law on Parade, except for the left instead of Christian fundamentalists.
Have fun, and remember to laugh :)
60% of poll respondents said Obama's doing a good job as president. Hehe. 85% say they are stupid media pawns who approve or disapprove of the president based on what the media tells them to think - and don't even know who's president anyway.
Now THIS is just precious:
ED HENRY: What really struck the Obama camp was how gracious President Bush was.
KATIE COURIC: It was one gracious couple welcoming another.
JAKE TAPPER: The Senator remarked how gracious President Bush was.
LISA CAPUTO: They were incredibly gracious.
BOB HERBERT: President and Mrs. Bush were extremely gracious.
GLORIA BORGER: George W. Bush has been incredibly gracious.
JAY CARNEY: President Bush has made this pretty easy by being so gracious.
KYRA PHILLIPS: It's very gracious of President Bush.
RICHARD WOLFFE: Everything we're hearing is that he was very, very gracious.
JOHN HARWOOD: This is President Bush at his best and, being very gracious.
BRET BAIER: ...a visit that aides described as gracious.
FRED BARNES: The Bushes are very gracious and decent people.
CHRIS PLANTE: The Bushes who are very gracious people.
DAVID GERGEN: They are being gracious about it.
MIKE EMANUEL: President Bush has been totally gracious.
ALLAN LICHTMAN: President Bush has been extremely gracious.
ANDREA MITCHELL: Laura and George Bush could not have been more gracious.
PAUL "THE FOREHEAD" BEGALA: The grace, class that the Bushes showed...
CHARLIE ROSE: I keep hearing reports that the President has been very gracious about all this.
BROWN: I think more than anything else he probably for the first time had come to the reality that this is not necessarily an evil person; that you may have a disagreement with his views; you may have a disagreement with his policies but he's really a charming, warm, wonderful human being.
RUSH: "The last two voices you heard were "The Forehead," Paul Begala; and Charlie Rose. Now, this is beyond absurd and it is infuriating. Because whatever you think on policy, all of these people have known for eight years what a decent and gracious man George W. Bush is. They sought to destroy him. He didn't fight back. Now all of a sudden that he's being nice to Obama, he's being nice to The Messiah, "Why, look at what a gracious and decent guy George W. Bush is!" It's another indictment of the unprofessionalism of journalists today."
What did they EXPECT to happen? The Bush people would vandalize the White House and even remove all the "O" keys from the keyboards? Oh, wait.
So they've known all along Bush is a decent man, a gracious man, despite disagreeing with his policies; and chose instead to besmirch and smear him with the vilest charges and slurs possible - the mildest of which were "Hitler" and "evil." Now he's a decent man. I tell you something; I knew that man wasn't an economic conservative from the beginning, and he certainly wouldn't have been my pick. I also knew he would do everything possible to "reach across the aisles" and try to appease the unappeasable hatemongering left, and so he did. But I never once believed he was a consummate liar, an indecent human being, a dishonorable man. And he isn't.
Bush, you've put up with nonstop abuse and media-manufactured "disapproval" for 8 years. You brought hope and comfort to the rescue workers at Ground Zero when you got there (while Clinton walked the streets stopping people to tell anyone who would listen that he had been "that close" to capturing bin Laden, that close!) You have wept with the families of our servicemen and have wept for those lost. You did what you had to do, and you never put your boot up the asses of the people who deserved it. Rest. Rest well. I wish you all the best, sir.
This piece has a large scope; so rather than me trying to explain it, give it a read for yourself.
I promise you'll feel better after you do! At least, those of you in the silenced majority.
This is posted by permission from The Jawa Report.
Memo to John McCain: The Moment We Cease to Be 'Scared' of Obama as President of the United States...
...is the moment many of us cease to be particularly interested in getting you elected in his place.
Despite your advice that we shouldn't be scared of Obama as President, I remain very, very troubled by the idea of a President Barack Obama, as do millions of other Americans. If you have any interest in actually becoming President rather than just going through the motions of a campaign, you'd better do whatever you can to keep it that way.
For the most part, you have a chance in this race at all for one reason: you are not Barack Obama. Very few people love you--or even like you. For a great many of us, our support for your candidacy has little, if anything, to do with any wonderful things we expect you to do if you're elected President In fact, if you're elected, we'll no doubt have to spend a whole bunch of our time over the next four years trying to prevent you from doing much. Our support of your candidacy arises, rather, out of the really shitty things we reasonably expect Barack Obama and his socialist allies to do to our country if he's elected.
The moment Barack Obama becomes an acceptable option in this election, you're pretty much finished. If you have any hopes of winning, you'd do well to keep that in mind and act accordingly.
By Ragnar Danneskjold, Typical Bitter Gun-Clinger at October 11, 2008 11:35 PM
I couldn't have said it better myself.
The only thing I'd add is that I actually do really like Palin. And once she learns more about economics, she ought to be king of the world. Ok I'm overstating. But I really do like her a lot, and think her potential is quite amazing.
