April 15, 2011

N: Ninja

That is my mascot; I like to think of myself as a free-market Ninja. I'm trying to get someone to make me one of these to keep; looks like it wouldn't be hard but I am a knitter and just can't sew. So we'll see how that goes. You know who else is a Ninja, although not of the free market variety? Vlad Putin. No, really - Vlad - this guy like wrestles bears and harpoons whales as Obama daintily eats shrimp. Funny account at Big Hollywood.

So what are we going to do about this? We need a hero too. We haven't had a leader with balls that size since Reagan was in office! (Admittedly, Clinton had huge nads too, but it was more the thumb-your-nose-at-everyone in the face of direct evidence sort of balls; look-you-in-the-eyes-and-lie sort of balls. That's not quite the same.)

See, this is why I wanted Fred Thompson. Well, in addition to the fact that he won the economic primary debate hands down. I know, I know, he's controversial even among conservatives but everyone is. But if you're going to end up side by side with this Putin guy in a photo op you're gonna have to have a little bit more than jugears and a teleprompter. At the least, Fred would have met this guy's stare and never blinked. He had the presidential *presence* about him; haven't seen that kind of presence since perhaps Nixon. (Some people would say Roosevelt and they're probably right, but I can't speak from experience there; I'm a tad young for that. Old as I may feel and be.) Is it really too much to expect that a president have a strong persona and fill a room just by being in it? I mean, we're supposed to be talking about the leader/figurehead of the free WORLD here. Hell, Eminem has a stronger stage presence than the candidates in this last presidential election. It's that whole eye of the tiger thing. When you go up against the guy who says "I must break you" you gotta have either someone very warm and genuine like Palin to counterpoint or someone who's BIG (metaphorically) and unafraid like Reagan or Fred.

I propose that we start a campaign to bring Putin over here and woo him with promises of whale hunts and bears to wrestle and Judo cage matches if he'll sit in the next two years for us so we can have someone who doesn't come across like a tiny little appeasing scaredy-cat. At least I'd tune in to watch the guy, even if I don't understand a word he says. Obama's a college guy; he can translate for us. Even if the words "Ve believe in NOTHING Lebowski!" sound a little strange coming from his mouth. Let loose the marmots.

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