April 2, 2011

B: Bubblething, Bullwhip, Brother, Barking Moonbats

Bubble thing. I never got the hang of it, but I didn't try too hard either. Good stuff (video.)

I first saw this guy doing bubble tricks years ago in a video at Six Flags and my God is he awesome - he says THIS is what you get for playing with bubbles every day for eight years. And, er, I bet some of the smoke he uses at home ISN'T tobacco, either. Excellent video.

Trivia - the sound of cracking when someone flicks a whip is actually a mini sonic boom; created when the last few inches of whip breaks the sound barrier - over 700 mph. But I still liked it when Harrison Ford just took out his gun and shot the one guy instead of whip-fighting him; biggest laugh of the movie. Oddly, it turns out they DID have a massive fight planned, but Ford has dystentery and said "Look, guys - can I PLEASE just shoot the guy? I'm not up to this." Inadvertently making the movie better than it already was. But then Lucas and Spielberg are basically insane.

Ok so I will do brother then. I had one hell of a family; it was the sport of all three of them to think up new ways to torture me - a group effort; yay teamwork! Shitheads. But my little brother was a character and a half. Uh...yeah they all were, but he took the cake in some ways. I mean what do you say about a boy who carried a pink baby doll to school every day (and everywhere else) until he was ten? Yeah, I thought the same thing. Baby Big Boy, he called it. It had a string and had like 8 different phrases I think. Sure the kids at school ragged on him - so did I. Come on, the kid did latchhook ffs. Ok so it was sort of cute, and he'd been sick a lot as a younger toddler, so one can perhaps not blame them for spoiling him stark raving rotten. But get real...if you have to peel a boiled hot dog and the kid has only 6 other items on his entire menu...all of which are snow white (god help you if you didn't cut off every shred of brown off the dry-ass roasted skinless chicken breast and heaven help you if two things touched on his plate!) then your kid is just a tad too picky. Plain pasta (just salt), french fries - only the middle; ends would be discarded, peeled green apples, white bread with Marshmallow Fluff on it, plain peeled hot dogs on white buns, potatoes whipped until they're the consistency of runny Cool Whip...um, that's about it. Oh, except the popcorn - just dug through and bit off the puffy tops, left all the rest back in the bowl - one time a friend of my mother's dug into a bowl of popcorn only to hear my mother say, "Um, S already ate that." Ew. No pizza, NO tomato sauce, no cheese, no milk (well maybe with Bosco in it) and the ketchup had to be stored in the cabinet (Heinz only) so it wasn't cold. He told every girlfriend that if there were ever to be any cohabitation or marriage, HE would do the "cooking." That's cooking? And I haven't even told you the worst, most bizarre aspects of their unnatural relationship. Just trust me, it sure wasn't pretty, and it was downright horrifying at times. Some lunatic Oedipal thing or something...yeah, I'm not going there; it's too gross and feels too disloyal even if I don't talk to any of them anymore. You know what I like? Christian brothers. And that's every bit as real as any blood ties. (No offense to non-Christians; I love you guys too! ;) ) Over the years my brother-in-law has come to be much like a real brother...took a long time and a lot of patient sowing, but we care about each other. Big confirmed bachelor type, so we're kinda all he's got. And maybe he's all we've got too, since their mother passed on. He's got his flaws, but don't we all? And as Forrest Gump says, that's all I have to say about that. I actually found the doll on ebay once (vintage and everything) and was gonna buy it and send it to him for a joke, but it never worked out. I thought it might be funny for his wife to see his old childhood love :D Ah well, didn't happen. Well...C tomorrow. I got my first word all set up (it's been going through my head for days) but I'll have to think of some other stuff. This is kind of fun!!

And for those of you who hate moonbattery, here's a link to the Barking Moonbat Early Warning System. I prefer to mention the howling at the moon, but this works too. Howl at the Moon.


DiscConnected said...

I'm almost afraid to see what the "C" word is....

"It rhymes with the name of your favorite Todd Rundgren album"
-Tina Fey, on "The C Word"


Anniee451 said...

It's not dirty! What do you take me for?!?! I don't LIKE dirty stuff. I don't look at porn and I'm not THAT sick.

Um...cookie monster FFS. He ain't dirty. Ok Rule 34, but screw that, I ain't even doing that.

Why you think I'm some kind of perv? I REALLY am not. I hate dirty stuff.

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Oh, ANNIEE!...
If you're not "some kind of perv" then I'm gonna quit "Following" your blog. I ain't here for "good, clean fun" ya know!

Hey, yeah, that "Bubble Dude" is really good. (And you're probably right about him using more than just cigarette smoke at home. Ha! He looks too "Deadhead" to play it straight 24/7/365.) I had seen him before on a Johnny Carson DVD set I own. (Got Tiny Tim on there too. Johnny had all the best guests, didn't he?)

As for your little Bro... Dang! I thought I knew weird. Hell, I thought I WAS weird. But I suddenly feel just so... so... "ordinary".

Entertaining posts, my radically conservative friend. (Note I didn't say "perv", but one can hope. ;o)

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

phthaloblu said...

We all gots family members that are whacked, darlin'. They say you can't pick your family, but I did. I kicked the bios to the curb. From the time I was 12 I schemed to find a way to leave my family and when I was turned 18, I was gone daddy gone.

Anniee451 said...

Phthalo, I'm thrilled that I'm not the only one who dumped the bio "family" who wasn't really a family. Family ain't just blood, is it? And...you gotta be careful who ELSE you pick for family; sometimes they suck too. Exercise care.

Stephen; you KNOW I'm way down and dirty - I just don't like PORN. Burned out on that stuff when I was like 17. Got old and repetitive. But listen to me talk for five minutes; I sound like a sailor on Tourettes (and I'm not putting down tourettes; I knew a kid who had it and it wasn't pretty. More like violent and ugly. Had little to do with swear words, unlike Quincy would have you believe. More like hitting your mother and freaking out.) Sigh. Life is short but it is wide. Too fucking wide.

phthaloblu said...

No worries here, Annie. All is good.

Anniee451 said...

Ah kiddo...you're a good egg. :) And so are my darling friends here, McCarthy and Discoman :D Hehe. (I bet he was out there burning his disco records on Monday and dancing at Club 54 on Saturday in '78, wanna take that bet? LOL)