April 7, 2011

Seems I skipped E

Seems I skipped E. Isn't that just like me? A redhaired scatterbrain (I consider myself in good company there - two words; Lucille Ball.) Let's see if we can remedy this (though as Phthalo and others pointed out, no one said we had to do them IN ORDER, did they?) E is for cookie, that's good enough for me...uh, yeah, that doesn't work, does it? For E we shall do perhaps Egg. Eggs are wonderful, amazing, magical things. You can take chicken eggs and scramble them, fry them sunny-side up, over easy (my favorite), emulsify solutions, dip your to-be-fried items in them (in preparation for seasoned flour or breadcrumbs) - hell, we did an entire unit on eggs in cooking class. I took cooking class? Hell yeah, I did. You know why? I didn't want to learn to cook; I was HUNGRY. Some bussed-in black girl used to take my lunch money every day; and at home I had (well I described my brother's diet, so you might not wonder, but I might get a bunless hamburger patty - or, worse, one with white bread that the ketchup soaked through to make pink paste) - well let's just say except for Thanksgiving and Christmas I got pretty scant rations. Not because the woman wouldn't cook and serve, but because the food SUCKED.

There are also human eggs...and unlike the stupid Look Whose Talking Two, the tail does NOT enter the egg; the tail falls right the hell off. I was sick of those eggs getting fertilized so I had the snip. And ain't I glad...TWO IS ENOUGH. God bless the people who have a dozen, but I ain't one of them. Uh, where would I put them, first of all?

Eggs, eggs, eggs; use your imagination; you can think of a zillion things to do with eggs or that happen with eggs. So E is for Eggs.

Oh, not to mention there are chickens who lay pastel eggs - Easter chickens! They have golden hair/feathers and they lay pretty pretty eggs. I once read a story where one of those chickens laid an UGLY shade of green egg; instead of eating it, they let it hatch. It was deformed and had a blind, white eye. But then I read it in the Reader's Digest, which ain't so reliable. But apparently that was the sweetest little chicken you ever did see. Ugly as he was to look at. So; Eggs.

How could I skip Balut? Balut is a duck egg (and oh, duck is good) that's half-hatched. They let it go a certain number of days and then they COOK it...in hot sand or something. Then, complete with feathers, bones and beak, they break it open and put a little vinegar on it (to drown the taste?) and you just...eat it. Andrew Zimmern actually liked it...except, you know, those pesky FEATHERS and BONES and BEAK. Now...why not remove the bones and beak and feathers and serve it as a delicacy? Frankly, prenatal duck sounds wonderful. Except that deal-breaking feathers and beak and bones. It'd probably be delicious. Well, except that hard yolk. I don't like yolk unless it's liquid. Ok, eggs.

1 comment:

phthaloblu said...

IKWYM about two is enough. Yep. When I was young and dumb, I wanted 10 kids to fill my lonely heart. Then I had my second one and learned how fast that two was indeed enough. haha