TURKEYS!

Yep. Just like Sarah Palin, I celebrate Thanksgiving with a HUMANELY sluaghtered turkey from a local farm. It's the only really fresh meat we get all year. Such fresh meat tastes better, produces the best gravy, and leads to succulent breasts. Bush has been busily pardoning some turkey who will thenceforth lead a brief and painful life as a bird who was raised FOR EATING and will stagger around and die of an early heart attack. Painfully. I choose to eat a bird who was raised for eating; slaughtered locally for the purpose of deliciousness, and will provide us with a gravy to die for. Vegans - eat your bullshit; not one of you will have the feast we do this week. It'll be absolutely BRILLIANT!