October 1, 2008

Finally, Some Humor

No, of course I didn't think it up; I'm not that funny. Jim Treacher is. A partial list of Gwen Ifill's questions for the VP debate Mayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss? Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why? Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven't you released Trig's birth certificate? Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here. Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history? Senator, you've spoken at length. Could you please continue? Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it's both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you're a fascist, which I am making now. Senator, could you please sign my book? ______________________________________________________________________________ I should have known that someone else would do it all better than me. Ann Coulter has this up today (excerpt)
While Gov. Sarah Palin is being grilled on her position on mark-to-market accounting rules, the press can't bother to ask Joe Biden if he could give us a ballpark estimate on when Franklin D. Roosevelt was president -- or maybe take a stab at guessing the decade when televisions were first available to the public. Being interviewed by Katie Couric on the "CBS Evening News," Biden said: "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.'" For those of you who aren't hard-core history buffs, Biden not only named the wrong president during the 1929 stock market crash, he also claimed a president who wasn't president during the stock market crash went on TV before Americans had TVs. Other than that, the statement holds up pretty well. At least Biden managed to avoid mentioning any "clean" Negroes he had met. Couric was nearly moved to tears by the brilliance of Biden's brain-damaged remark. She was especially intrigued by Biden's claim that FDR had said the new iPhone was the bomb! Here is Couric's full response to Biden's bizarre outburst about FDR (a) being president and (b) going on TV in 1929: "Relating to the fears of the average American is one of Biden's strong suits." But when our beauteous Sarah said that John McCain was a better leader on the economy than Barack Obama, Couric relentlessly badgered her for evidence. "Why do you say that?" Couric demanded. "Why are they waiting for John McCain and not Barack Obama? ... Can you give us any more examples of his leading the charge for more oversight?" The beauteous Sarah had cited McCain's prescient warnings about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. But Couric, the crackerjack journalist who didn't know FDR wasn't president in 1929, demanded more examples from Palin. We are currently in the middle of a massive financial crisis brought on by Fannie Mae. McCain was right on Fannie Mae; Obama was wrong. That's not enough? Not for the affable Eva Braun of evening TV! "I'm just going to ask you one more time," Couric snipped, "not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation?" This would be like responding to someone who predicted the 9/11 attacks by saying: OK, you got one thing right. Not to belabor the point, but what else? Obama was not merely wrong on Fannie Mae: He is owned by Fannie Mae. Somehow Obama managed to become the second biggest all-time recipient of Fannie Mae political money after only three years in the Senate.
Thank you, I wish I could have put that one right with as few, humorous words. Point to ponder: While mediasprite Couric referred to Biden as "Senator", she refused to call Governor Palin "Governor."


Kat said...

I hate Katie Couric. Wasn't she the one that once wore a princess dress or some kind of long fluffy costume on the Today show or David Leterman and was all giddy and giggly and silly about it? Wasn't she the queen of cute?

Somebody needs to drag out some of her silly TV moments and maybe she'd shut up and quit trying to be a "serious" journalist.

AnnieMcPhee said...

She's so serious she doesn't even know that FDR wasn't president in 1929 or that we didn't have TVs then.

But the editors are smart enough to only put out and promote the answers they think made Palin look bad (which actually they don't) and sweep under the carpet all the excellent answers she gave, such as about abortion and birth control and evolution/creation in schools, etc.

They're playing dirty, plain and simple. Obama's not used to having an opponent, and they're helping him not to have one this time.